I’m so proud of our kitties! 😍

So we got a second kitten last Wednesday. As expected, the two didn’t get along at first. Nina, who’s our first kitten, felt like blacky, our second kitten, is an intruder. That’s only logical considering this is Nina’s house. And suddenly there’s this stranger cat in the house. Blacky, for all obvious reasons, was terrified. Blacky wasn’t used to people much. She came in a strange environment and she came in touch with a territorial strange cat. She was terrified.

So the past 2 nights my bf slept on the couch with blacky downstairs (she meows very loud if he doesn’t) and me in bed with Nina upstairs.

Considering blacky came Wednesday evening, we consider yesterday the first day for her. And last night, she allowed us both to pet her! She went all in as soon as she opened up to us! In one day from a feral cat to a snuggly cuddle cat :tada::tada::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Nina and blacky are still working on their relationship. But it’s going real damn fast. Last Wednesday they hated each other. Yesterday they’ve been able to be in the same room and play on opposite ends of the room. Today they’ve been able to eat in the same room, play pretty close to each other, and now they’re sleeping in the same cat tree! Look at this:


Look at them :heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:
Nina is the cat in her throne. She’s the one at the top. Blacky is the other cat. As long as Nina isn’t fixated on blacky, she doesn’t mind Nina. She wants to get to know her. But Nina is still in a mental fight about blacky. She also wants to get to know her, but she still thinks she’s an intruder too.

They’re going so well. It’s only day 2. I really hope tonight they’ll be able to live in the same room without me and my bf constantly having to supervise. That way we can invite blacky over to sleep in our room tonight and let her explore upstairs too.

I’m such a proud mommy for them doing so well so quick :sob::sob::heart_eyes::heart_eyes:

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they are soooooo cute. hurray for the progress they’ve made so far! i hope things continue improving.

I know right? Sadly we can’t let them unsupervised yet. But I decided to let them socialize themselves a bit today just to see where things are at and all that. I watched a video about it later to be sure. The situation now is that Nina only wants to play. But blacky doesn’t know Nina that well yet so she’s not sure what she wants and how her body language is. So that makes her still terrified and when Nina tries to play which she desperately wants blacky hisses and even swats at times. So we just need to make sure they spend as much time as possible in the same room without interacting to each other but rather with us, food and their surroundings. That gets them to know each other. Blacky just needs some more time. But then there’s classic me who’s impatient :joy::joy:

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That’s really fantastic. My wife and I each have our own cats. It’s been 3 years and the two cats never get along so I understand how difficult this is… I am actually curious about how you manage to coordinate work/life with cats’ presence. Mine asked to be pet every 20 minutes and this can be catastrophic to work sometimes because my work requires lots of reading. It used to be a manageable problem since I quite enjoy the work content so that once entering hyperfocus the gain in efficiency compensate the time I spent on struggling. But then my cat feels somewhat insecure about me focusing on work instead of on him, so he finds the need to check (if I was to abandon him over work, I suppose🙄), by scratching, staring with a pitiful expression, or punching on me by surprise to catch as much attention. It’s devastating to the already painful process of maintaining attention. Wonder if anyone has similar experiences?

(To give some sense of how frequently this occurs, I got called to pet him twice before finish typing this reply. And my cat tried to take me away from my desk as distant as possible, or he’s coming back to call again.)

Well I have done a whole education one Animals. Including cats. And I’ve also made sure to study all about them when I got them.

What’s important with cats getting used to each other is that they get to know each other properly, with our help. Idk if you ever play with your cats? Cause that’s something you’re supposed to do every single day. Litteraly. And not just dangling a wand in front of their face but actively playing with them with the wand toy. Run around and let them run around. Go high, go low, go fast go slow (lol that rhymes). And the best to do that is at least twice a day: in the morning and in the evening. Why? Cats (also wild cats) are typically active during dusk and dawn. For wild cats that’s their moment to hunt. Playing represents hunting for them. So play with them for like 15 to 30 minutes and tire them out, then feed them. Yes, feed them. No free feeding. It messes up their internal clock. I feed them 3 to 4 times a day. In the morning and the evening. And usually in between, often during lunch and dinner so they can eat with us. Almost every time before I feed them, I play with them. Whenever cats hunt they also get to each after that. And afterwards they’ll sleep. If you manage to get a rhythm in that every day, it’ll help you manage them. Your cat just wants to play with you whenever he/she interferes with your work. If you make sure that you put a cat bed or a chill spot right next to your work spot, it’s likely that your get just goes to sleep next to you after playing and eating while you work. If you feed them 3/4 times a day and play before that, that last time on a day should be before bed. That’ll make it less likely they’ll be spooking around in the middle of the night. And when they do, ignore them. My kitten Nina also does whatever I do a lot. Whenever I’m chilling and sitting down, she sleeps. If I’m up running around the house doing whatever, she’ll do too and follow me and wanna join me in everything I do. I usually let her as much as possible cause she just wants to be involved. And if things get dangerous or she’s in my way I usually try to have a toy nearby so she can play at the same spot where I’m busy. She can distract me a lot too though. She’s still a kitten and also very hyperactive. Guess that’s why she’s pulled toward me more cause so am I :rofl::rofl:

With introducing cats or having them get along it works similar. Keep your cats seperate in the beginning and start with feeding them next to each other and a door in between them. Why? They’ll smell each other and know they’re there, but they’re feeding and can’t see each other. That way they’ll associate each other’s presence and smell with food, which is a positive thing. After that, have play sessions with them in the same room. Make sure you play with them but they’re not focused on each other. That also make positive reinforcement towards the other. Also important, hissing or swatting a few times isn’t wrong. It shows they’re getting just that one line over their own barriers which is good. Full on fighting is obviously wrong. After that you can also have them eat in the same room. This is also where that feeding time comes in. By the time you feed them they’ll actually be hungry. With free feeding you don’t have that. They’re basically full all the time. The hunger will motivate them more to eat and focus less on each other, making more positive experiences with them. And with both playing and feeding in the same room, start with opposite sides of the room. If you have a partner, play both with one cat on the opposite sides of the room. And every session you just have them go a little closer to each other. Same goes with feeding. Make sure that there will be a few hisses and towards the end of the session there will be none. And at the end they’ll be able to feed next to each other and play next to each other. It’ll often make them friendly with each other. If you can manage to have them sleep in the same room, that’s awesome too. Even if they’re not seeing each other, they’ll smell each other. They’re aware of each other all the time. Cats noses are extremely sensitive. So sleeping in the same room also gives positive reinforcements. That way you get cats used to each other and tolerate each other. The hisses and swats over here are getting less by the hour which is awesome. In our case right now Nina just wants to play but blacky doesn’t know her body language completely so she sometimes still sees it as a threat or she’s just confused making her scared. It’ll get less and less until they’re used to each other. That doesn’t go to say they’ll never bicker anymore. But that’s okay. It’s even good for them to bicker around. It makes their bond stronger. It’s the same with siblings or good friends. As long as there’s also positive things. And also, if they attack each other without hissing it’s often just play. That’s all right. That’s even good. People tend to confuse playing with fighting a lot in cats cause we look through dog colored glasses. Just search some stuff about that on YouTube. That way you can judge whether they’re just playing or really fighting.

Edit: here’s some videos that can help you along. It’ll help explain a lot of your cats behaviors.


https://youtu.be/XreeFU7RYeI

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Many thx for the reply. That explains a lot.

I noticed that my cat seems to be particularly happy if I feed him around 5 AM, and it has become a regular thing. I suppose the problem remains was about playing. The two cats have no problem sleeping nearby or sharing food, but my cats has zero tolerance with my wife’s cat playing his toys. It didn’t help even when I buy ten copies of the same toys for them to share or let him play exclusively for the first couple of days. He just feels like monopoly all the toys and always started a fight whenever my wife’s cat was enjoying playing, even if it’s a toy he has long lost interest, and even that he always ended up beaten by my wife’s cat. Also I am not allowed to pet my wife’s cat. I can see the anger growing in his eyes. On the other hand if I kept ignoring my wife’s cat she’ll just sit there with a sad lonely face. When I think back, I suppose it’s because of this dilemma that eventually cause my cat feeling not cared enough. I just took him for a walk at the corridor of our apartment today and seems all brightened up now.

BTW I think there was a point when my cat figured out cat wands were actually waved by humans instead of moving by its own and has sort of lost interest since. :upside_down_face: (I remember that he starred at the wand, and then humans, and then the wand again.) He plays with the small soft balls I gave him though, and anything he can kick around. (In fact quite good at dribbling past furnitures like a football player)

As for doing homework for pet caring, I would like to add that it’s actually not an easy task nowadays when tons of information on the web are all contradicting each other. So many pet product companies and conflicting interests parties. I find that different vets are giving completely opposite advice. It can be confusing sometimes. I do research online of course and ask around but there’s a limit. But thankfully I think am beginning to understand the problem at hand and can start to tackle. I’m truly grateful for the info. Thx a lot.

That’s very interesting. I’m guessing you have a very territorial cat. He feels those toys are his and no one else’s. Try to give your cat the most amazing treats whenever the other cat is playing with his toys. It might help to accept the other cat playing with his toys.

Yeah and that’s also a thing. A lot of cats have more issues with males. Obviously male energy can be a bit more straight forward and direct compared to female energy. If a cat doesn’t allow to pet you, just don’t. Start off with trying to feed the cat from your hand a couple times. That shows your cat you don’t want to harm them. After that goes well, let the cat sniff your finger and let the cat lead. If it only wants to sniff, that’s fine. But a lot of times when you want to pet the cat, they’ll rub their face in your finger, showing you where they want to be petted. And definitely don’t pet a cat like a dog. Meaning, with your whole hand over their whole body. Cats are extremely sensitive and that just overstimulates them. Rather use your fingers. And try to mainly pet their face where they direct you to pet. And also, if a cat goes belly up, it doesn’t mean they invite you to pet them there. They’re just showing you they trust you by exposing their vulnerable area. Pets bellies are the most sensitive part of their body. So most cats don’t like being pet there. I have one of those exception cats who does like it. But only when she tells me to pet there though :joy::joy:

Most cats probably know that we control the wands. That shouldn’t be the problem. Playing time should also be bonding time. And if wands aren’t the toys, there are many more toys you can use together. Me and my boyfriend have these toys with balls in that you can push and they follow a trail. The cats love it. We can push the ball around and the cats will too. Just figure out what they like the most that can be interactive with you. It’s important you’re able to bond with your cats.

And I definitely agree. Even at my own school there were many things I didn’t agree with. But I also think that in many situations, there’s not just one right answer. For instance, teeth. Some people tell you to brush your pets teeth every day. Some think it’s only a couple times a week. Some think it’s better to use specific food for it. I’d just say: look at your pets needs. Some do need to have their teeth brushed every day. In most cases I’d say: once or twice a week is enough. There are the nosy ones who won’t allow you to touch their mouth. Then that food comes into play. Food is also a thing. With both cats and dogs there’s one huge thing I disagree with: vegan food. Cats and dogs are carnivores. They’re diet mainly consists of meat. Especially cats. They’re obligate carnivores meaning the only plant based food they eat in the wild would be food that’s still in the stomach of whatever animals they just hunted. They’ll still get their plant nutrition because that’s also in the meat of the animal. Then there’s the whole raw meat thing vs kibble. In these situations I’m also like: that really depends on both your preference and your pets needs. I feed my cats a combo of dry food and wet food. The dry food is packed with more nutritions but the wet food is just as important and the nutritions in there are different. Their treats are litteral meat you put on sandwiches :joy::joy:
You can always ask me what my take on things are. I’m in no means an expert but I’ve done an animal education and I’ve studied these things a lot so I know a thing or two.

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Now that makes sense. In retrospect my cat was quite OK initially when the two cats first met until the other cat used the litter tray. I didn’t relate the quarrels to territorial disputes because they seemed to have no problem sharing the spacial territory (also that I have long fixed that problem by preparing even a few more litter trays than vets would usually suggest). I think you are absolutely right about it. It’s cat logic that I didn’t understand.

Well, actually I meant that I wasn’t allowed to pet the other cat by my own cat. Sorry about the confusion. They immediately got into messy fights whenever I did it. Seems like my cat regarded me as part of his possessions.

Well thanks to you I think the issue is now resolved (at least for the moment). It just happened that the set of harness and leash I ordered has just arrived and I know that he’s been wanting to go out very much for a long time (I understand that lots of cats would prefer to stay in the more familiar and supposedly safer environment, but I got the impression because he tried to sneak out many times when I opened the door). So today I just took him for walks two times (close to dusk and dawn as possible) in our corridor. We are back and he’s now leaning on my feet, asleep. Many thanks on behalf of my cat. :slightly_smiling_face: That was in every sense professional diagnosis. (Actually our vets could not completely identify the problem all this time)

Oh in that case do the same thing as with the toys: give food.
Cats can be so obsessive over things man :rofl::rofl:

Edit: thank you btw. And you’re welcome. Yk vets aren’t cat experts. They focus more on the medical part of things. In terms of behavioral stuff that isn’t out of the ordinary you shouldn’t go to the vet. You should ask someone who’s specialized in cat behavior. Vets aren’t. It’s not that they don’t know anything about it. They have to cause they work with them. But they’re not specialized in it in any way. Cats are very misunderstood creatures cause we look at them like dogs and they’re not. The biggest difference is that dogs are at the top of their food chain. Cats aren’t. They hunt but they’re also prey for other animals. So claiming territory and making sure they’re safe is more important to them than to dogs. They have more to fear. Even the domesticated cats still have that wired in their system cause cats aren’t that far away from their feral friends. Really, there’s still a lot of that wild cat in there. People don’t always realize that

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