Hi! I’m Cristian, I’m a 27 year old from Monteverde, Costa Rica. Yes, where the cloud forest, beaches and biodiversity are. Not Puerto Rico. Anyway.
I recently started a couple of online courses in coursera. At the beginning all was great, I was doing the assignments and everything seems to going to plan, however I started to lose focus and procrastination started to settle in. That’s when I noticed that I had a chronic pattern of behavior as old I can remember. And then I started to noticed the other behavior that I have. Losing things I had a minute ago. I can’t count the times I’ve lost my keys, wallet, phone, headphones. Even the salt I use to cook gets lost in the middle of making lunch.
Also, I tend to interrupt people before they finish their sentences and when it’s my time to talk I don’t finish my sentences the way I want to because my brain is thinking about a lot of stuff. It’s really frustrating.
I used to be waiter and I remember that people told me their orders and I forgot their orders before I left the table. If people asked me for water and if I didn’t do it right away, I would forget completely, the same when they asked for the check.
My rock bottom was when I lived alone, it was an absolute mess. Like really bad. I rented a room and it was always incredibly messy, I never made the bed, when I did laundry, I put it on top of the bed and sleep on top of it. My diet was terrible, junk food and take out. On my days off, because I had nothing else to do, I was on the phone all day long, cuz, it felt good, and if I found something interesting that day, that day was gone, and also the next one too. (It was like, yeah, I wanna know everything about the ABS system of a car, how interesting is the complete story of the Airbus a380)
But I digress, I remember one day off waking up and getting ready to go to work and realizing:
- It’s your day off
- It’s 6pm, not 6am.
And how do I know all of that? Apart for the obvious, I messaged a friend of mine "I’m sorry for not making it to the café, and she replied, what are you taking about? That’s tomorrow. Truth be told, I felt embarrassed, but know now that it’s just part of your Adhd.
Also I don’t ready instructions, I make careless mistakes and bump into everything and a lot of stuff usually gets damaged.
I remembered one time, I was in my dad’s shop and he had a vintage radio, and for some reason, out of nowhere I thought “what happens if I cut the electrical cord while it’s still on” shortly after I found out. Those garden scissors now have a nice hole in them. I remember my dad was pretty mad about it, and he angrily asked me WHY??? and even I didn’t have a clue about why I did it.
Well, that turned out in a incoherent ramble, however, I’m not going to start over, because, if I start over, I’m never going to post this first post. Because it’s not perfect, or I do it later, or any reason that you may think.
Now because of the overwhelming evidence of the fact that i have Adhd, I feel slightly relieved because I know there’s a reason for my behavior, I’m not stupid, or lazy, or the famous “you don’t care enough”.
Anyway, I’ll stop now.
Hopefully next time I write in these forums, will be to update you all on my positive progress. If I don’t give up on this site as well first.