I missed a midterm project due date for a really easy class. I feel like a total loser if I’m being quite honest. I missed it because i procrastinated on an essay that had minimal req and had a time slot of 1 month. I keep doing this, and i thought i was getting better i place reminders for myself and i try to stop but its so hard not to do procrastinate even if i sit at my desk i tend to organize my work which last for about an hour or two or I end up starting too late like around 4 or 5 pm. The worst part is in my career choice i want to be a doctor surgeon to be precise but i don’t feel like i have a good handle on my Adhd ness. To add on to that, because i had issues before in my first year of college with meds, anxiety (social and general), depression, and adhd lets not forget about that, I did poorly. This quarter i really thought id be able to do it I only have two classes in my quarterly college and(typically 3 are recommended) I just missed my major assignment. Turning in something late or procrastinating is like a punch in the stomach/face like a reminder that i cant do it or that ill always have to try fight this adhd off. I feel like giving up on this, especially because i dont feel supported by family or like any friends understand, dont want to be reliant in that manner bc i know people wont truly understand And i get that but sometimes i get put down and it hurts even more. Not sure what to do about this any advice? I really want to pursue this dream i just dont know why i cant try as hard as id like to or imagine myself doing so
One thing I’d suggest is that it may be helpful to reach out to your academic advisor. I had a tumultuous time in undergrad and dealt a lot with procrastination, not showing up to class, challenges with mood, motivation issues, attention concerns, etc. Meeting with the advisor actually helped me, and I was able to help recover some and mitigate some of the damage I caused.
The other thing would be to work to find skills or tips that work for you to help you stay motivated and to stay accountable. There are lots of resources online, including through the Youtube channel, but it can be good to start by figuring out what makes you procrastinate and also what you really want to do right now. Sometimes we have a dream in mind but we don’t really put the effort in because it’s not right for us. Or maybe it’s not right for us “right now.”
Bottom line, be kind to yourself. It’s okay to struggle. You can’t always be perfect and things don’t always go as planned. It’s a process. It’s about getting better. And even in the field of medicine it’s about learning from mistakes, practice, and progress.
I think I’ve always had an interest in biology it’s really fascinating, i just sometimes have issues with motivation like you say. I think it’s because i feel like i don’t really make any progress and I’m behind or sometimes all i want to do is study but my parents complain that i don’t spend time with them or outside of my room for that matter part of the reason is because I’ve just found out that my shyness is actually social anxiety diff story. I just feel guilty