Hi, this is my first time here, my main language isn’t English, so sorry in advance if it is difficult to understand me but I can’t find something similar in my language and less in my country and I need advise with urgency!
I don’t want to make this very long but I feel like I need to explain how I got to this point so you know where I need advice.
My life is chaos, I am a dysfunctional adult, I am almost 40 years old and I live with my parents! I went to school, to university, I went through 3 degrees, I finished the last one with great difficulty, in all those years I was treated from a very young age by therapists and psychiatrists, I went through diagnoses of depression to bipolar type 2
I had a hard time finding a job, I never felt comfortable in the interviews and I have always being too honest I did not know how to sell myself, in the end I got a job where I had to travel 2 hours round trip and sit at a desk for 8 hours more one hour of lunch.
It was hell, I suffered, I cried in the bathroom of the company, one day I decided to quit, I went to another job but it paid badly and it was boring, by mutual agreement we ended it.
I try to be an entrepreneur always with ideas but without being able to start, if I started I was overwhelmed by everything that had to be done and never finished anything. I have tried to carry planners, stickers, alarms on my cell phone, none of that works, they are erased in my mind, it’s like I stop seeing them.
Now I work in delivery, the ridiculous thing about all this is that it entertains me this Job but it pays badly and it’s not enough to live alone, I enrolled in a programming course, thinking that this would allow me to be independent and earn more. In the first class everything went to hell, I started on a Wednesday and on Friday I was determined to quit, it was impossible to hear what he was saying, I was constantly thinking why he not hurry? Why do you repeat the same? what time is the break? I would stand up, go to the bathroom, do stretching exercises (online classes) but I was frustrated because I found it long, I couldn’t sit listening for so long and on Friday I already lost it, I disconnected my mind
On Saturday on YouTube I watched a video of “you could have adhd if you have these symptoms”, I found that I had some symptoms but it didn’t convince me, also my brother had been diagnosed with adhd when he was a child and we are opposites, he was always hyperkinetic, talking nonstop, he leave the classroom without understanding that he had to be there, I was always calm, when he talked to me a lot I felt physically bad, dizzy, all I wanted was for him to leave and leave me alone, when I was a child I always stayed in classes, until adolescence where they threw me out or I slept and in college I did not go or I went very little. My mother also has adhd but she has always been a functional adult, with a great career, punctual, always good at work, the only thing is that she is incapable of reading a book and I reade a lot, so how could I have adhd?
At the end I saw this channel on YouTube the video of women with adhd, I saw the talk ted and it all made sense, I saw other videos of women and listening to them was like listening to my life, so I made an appointment for a neurologist on Monday, he saw me he told me I had adhd and he prescribed me, I think for you it is Vyvanse 30mg.
I am already in the second week, I can say that the first week I felt the effect, especially the first day, but it has been diluted, this week I have struggled with the course and yesterday and the day before yesterday I disconnected, I could not continue listening, I didn’t understand anything , it was like a noise.
This is where I need advice, what are the next steps I should take? there is very little information in my country about adhd, Do I need to go to the neurologist again to see about the medications? adjust them? or I change to a psychiatrist do I tell him everything again (the hours for psychiatrists and psychologists are full so I would have to wait about 3 weeks) or do I go to therapy and start therapy?
Once I knew that I had adhd it was a great relief because I finally knew why I was strange I also had anger because I went through so much therapy and psychiatrists and nobody saw it, that’s why now I don’t trust them much, but I want to fix it, I want to be better of what I am now, I want to be independent, live a safe, happy life and that’s why I need your help, what are the next steps? I can’t jump from doctor to doctor because I don’t have the money for that, I’m willing to invest in improving myself but I can’t pay more than I have.
So ,sorry for the long story but if you have any advice I would appreciate it, also, are the adhd’s books useful?
Thanks!
Something more, when I take the medicine, while it is in effect I am sleepy, like I could take a nap and when they stop working my brain wakes up and starts jumping, is this normal or something to say to my neurologist?
