I need permession to need permission... (ahhh, infinte regress =P )

Hi brains,
This is a cumbersome thank you to my family.

I am not self-assured… Are you? I always need permission. But I even need permission to need permission. I would love to hear some stories of you needing permission. Let me explain:

Many people say I take life waaay to serious. I write long documents explaining what I think and how the whole process of thinking leads to a conclusion I’ve come to. My introduction contains just such a document. These documents serve one purpose: “I’m not crazy, right?”. Every big thing I do is accompanied with such a document. I want to … , is that stupid? I think … is important, would you agree? I think I should be … , that’s not weird, right? I’m not looking to be “normal”, I’m just not able to validate my own thinking. The weird thing is, that goes for the asking permission as well… Do you think it’s weird I can’t convince myself of any right thing to do or think? I would love to hear form you.

I’m really proud this hasn’t turned into a 4 page essay… (wouldn’t you agree :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:?)
I want to thank my family-members, who have indulged me on countless occasions, working through all my writings. I could not do without their validations! A “thank you” to all the hearts! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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You remind me of my son. He’s very bright and still needs validation anyway.

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I don’t see it as validation (at least in my case), but as “For the love of all that is holy, I did the work, DON’T COME AT ME WITH “but it’s really this.” No. It’s not. READ THE EMAIL!”

I tend to have over long emails, in part because I work in IT as a Support person, so I have to interface between User and other Techs. I find I used to assume the reader would follow my train of thought with out me explicitly saying the train of thought, which lead to a lot of bad grades in writing. I learned to over write so that dagnabit you know how I got to where I am.
Now my workplace is aggravated with too much info. Then I try and adjust and it’s not enough. Flip flop, flip flop… AAARG.

Now my process is to write the over long version (and save it for a bit, if it is important), and then look at it and ask my self, “Self, what is the least amount of information here that I need to transmit?” And I edit, re-write, cut down, etc. Then I send it. If it’s going to a VP or something, I get some peeps to proof it. Usually I will end with “If you have any questions, I have further troubleshooting notes. Please ask.”
That does me pretty well, though it does take time.

It’s less… validation, more rage against wasting my time, saying I don’t know what I am talking about, etc. I dunno. Maybe that is validation, but it’s not for me to feel good, it’s so that we can move forward?
Dunno if I am making sense. Just went two days off meds to stretch them out before next doc visit, and I’m off kilter.

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Thank you Eric, that’s a great perspective. You made me laugh, there. You might even be right. I don’t build in some time to let it settle and recently I noticed my brother had said: “these 4 lines are the important bit, you could do without the rest”. Only 4 days later I recognized he was right. Thank you for the input, I will try your technique for a while. I don’t think my brothers will mind, either :wink: