i don’t know if that’s the right place to ask… or even open up on this tropic, do tell if it isn’t.
so i already figured out i am depressed, infact i probably was for most of my life up till now. (i am 24)
don’t get me wrong, i am not diagnosed, but looking at my life from a 3rd person perspective and kind of an inward observation, its most likely bad.
so just like any good future engineer guy, i was looking for a solution. at first i thought that it was my way of thinking (the irony…) but no. i am quite familier with most of the cbt/nlp/meditative techniques and was practicing them at age 15-19 because i was interested in them. (at first i wanted to be a psychologist… but alas, my love for video games made me a programmer)
i then looked into my social (non existing) situation. and so decided to visit people i trust(kinda…) to aliviate some of the lonlyness i feel while being at the dorms, where i don’t have any friends beside my roommate who is actually a cool guy. for the rest of the day i just stay at the dorm and on my computer.
so i decided to get out and visited family. which made me feel better. for a few hours? i say that with a question mark because its strange, if the problem was beeing lonely surly a 5h visit would have recharged that social bar right?
so i figured it wasn’t social need. plus, i am introveted, so that 5h was more of a pain then anything after 3h. but i figure why not… maybe its like the sims and there is an invisible metter i need to fill.
so the question therefore is… is this normal? like actually normal to feel lonely? for a guy at age 24 to be completly unconneted to his age group?
now most advice i would have gotten probably be along the lines of tony robbins “do massive action!” or some outer cringe worthy slogens. don’t get me wrong i am watching motivational videos like the next guy… but that’s just what it is, motivation. not actual advice.
that changes the question from “is it normal”" to “is it changeable”, because i would assume if people had advice for this situation they would have given it already. but all i got was motivation.
i have done some personal development when i was littele, the all “go talk to random people on the street” excecises and “get outside your comfort zone”. thing can only get me so far…
from here i can only conclude that yes, it is changeable. but that leads to a all diffrent horror game…
do i want to change?
i am stuck at this. actually stuck. not thinking throug. not letting it boil or cook. i am getting nowhere with this. for the life of me i can’t figure this out.