Hi Brains. I’m new to this and very scared so I might make mistakes. I’ll try my best.
I’m 20 and attending community college. When this pandemic hit, I was preparing to transfer to a four year university. I already completed all of my requirements and was only taking more classes for fun (they were a good mix of challenging and laid back courses). The transition to distance learning messed everything up. As hard as I tried, I just couldn’t stay focused. And I tried everything. I would read assigned texts in character voices or take numerous breaks but nothing ever really worked. I couldn’t sit down and read or write or learn much of anything! This, of course, made my procrastination all the worse. By the end of the semester, I failed two of my five courses (and dropped another one). I really did try! To make matters worse, my professors were really gracious by letting me submit things whenever I could before the end of the semester… but even that didn’t help.
By this point the summer started and I was unsure of what I would do. I got accepted to my dream university! But what about my grades? I decided to rescind my registration before the university could rescind my acceptance. Around the same time, I just happened to be scrolling on Twitter one day and found a thread about people’s experiences with ADHD. Basically everything resonated with me so I did some more research and now I’m certain I have it. I know it’s frowned upon to do things like that, but I really am certain. Looking back on my childhood, it makes so much sense! My dad was very strict and quick to anger. While I was in elementary school and middle school, he was angry all the time at how often I would lose my phone or jacket or homework or a permission slip. Honestly, the only way I made it out of school was by copying someone else’s homework. Even when I did it, I could forget it at home. Anyway, I could go on and on. My point is, I am 99.9% sure I’ve got it. I could talk about so many other symptoms.
Now, I’m starting the school semester up again and its even worse. Classes actually started last week, but I haven’t logged on once to actually check the material. Part of me is avoiding it because I feel like “what’s the use?”, but the other part of me is just paralyzed by the idea of the activity. It’s actually more frustrating than it was last time! It’s like my brain can’t wrap itself around the idea that this is something I HAVE TO DO. But here’s the real problem: my doctor doesn’t believe me! When I went to her about a diagnosis, she didn’t really inquire very far. The appointment didn’t last very long her her search felt really narrow. She concluded anxiety and depression and prescribed me something for that. It’s been about two months since I first came to her because I thought I had a problem. And I’d be fine if she had at least tested for it, but she really didn’t go very far! I’m at the end of my rope here. I don’t know what to do… Do I see someone else and if so, what type of doctor? These problems are really hurting my school life, social life, and home life. I know this is a shot in the dark. I hope someone can help…