I think I might be bipolar and I'm terrified

Support I Need a Quarter
#1

Yeah of the whole list of “labels” I got this is the one I don’t want to add and I don’t know why.

I have no idea what I should do with this discovery. Cause I’m scared of the reactions of people around me. I’m litteraly terrified. I jusr started a process for an ASD assesment. Like, as if I don’t have enough yet. Also, I feel like people might not believe me or take me seriously.

I just had a whole panic attack about it. That’s how terrifyingly similar the symptoms are to what I feel and experience. Idk what to do about it. I don’t wanna tell anyone but I know I should. I will probably.mention it to my therapist coming tuesday. But not yet my family. Idk what to do. I really don’t.

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#2

The “discovery” . . . if BPD is confirmed, will give you information that may lead to new treatment options . . . perhaps new meds. and/or adjustment to existing meds. While I understand your hesitancy to share new information with others . . . that has always been and will continue to be your decision. As you may share information with others I would certainly hope that people understand that what you think is best for you is . . . “BEST FOR YOU”!

Good luck. Try not to ruminate about this turn of events and, as you have, stay connected to your other “family” here!

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#3

Agree with @Brooklyn. Hang in there! Some symptoms are common to more than one disorder so one really needs a professional to sort through all that. Until your assessment is completed, try to avoid stress, try to do things that are nurturing and bring some joy. Connect with your friends in real life and here!

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#4

Welcome back @Bubbles17 ! It’s been a while since I’ve seen you on here.

First of all, bipolar disorder is probably more common than you think. My mom has Bipolar II (bipolar 2, also known as cyclothymia). It’s a less severe form, with depression and “hypomania”. She was originally diagnosed bipolar, but her depressions were only severe enough for that diagnosis because of stress-inducing issues, and when those were gone from her life, she didn’t meet the diagnosis criteria as clearly anymore. (Even at her most severe, she was on the lowest possible dose of her medication.)

Thanks to the decades of research, bipolar disorder is better understood and more treatable now than it’s ever been before. (Too bad that ADHD and other neurodivergencies aren’t as well understood as bipolar disorder is.) Even so, sometimes people get misdiagnosed as having it when they don’t, or not having it when they do.

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#5

By the way, BPD usually refers to “borderline personality disorder” nowadays. That abbreviation is confusing, because I think it had been used for bipolar disorder in the 90s into the 2000s.

Among the people I’ve been around throughout my life, I’ve only heard bipolar disorder, aka manic-depression, shortened to just “bipolar”.

  • Like ADHD, borderline personality disorder has gone through a few name changes over the last few decades.)
  • Borderline personality disorder can resemble bipolar disorder, ADHD, complex PTSD (CPTSD), or other disorders. It is treatable, tends to get better over time even without treatment (with treatment it can get better over a period of years and can even be cured, without treatment it might take decades to improve and not go away entirely).
  • People who went through the trauma of abuse and/or neglect in early childhood years are the most likely to develop borderline personality disorder. It used to be believed that only people who were abused or neglected as small children develop it, but it’s also inheritable. (People can have it if one or both parents had borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder.)
  • Many people with borderline personality disorder as adults were diagnosed as ADHD as kids. (I have a theory in my own mind that a similar genetic predisposition for neurodiversity applies to both conditions. In the US, it has been estimated that BPD affects about 1.4%, and bipolar disorder 2.8%, and ADHD 4.4% of the population.)

If various medications for treating bipolar disorder are not effective, then most likely it’s not bipolar disorder. The problem is that it can take many years to go through all the treatments available.

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#6

Heya. I’m a bit late to the party here, but I can speak as someone with first-hand experience (and also spotted it in a friend, who subsequently got officially diagnosed and has been doing a lot better since).

I take it you’ve never had psychotic (delusions, hallucinations) symptoms? That would, after all, be pretty cut-and-dry, and someone would have pulled on the thread at the time.

If you’re still spinning your wheels about this, I’d be happy to do what I can to help you find clarity :slight_smile:.

BPAD II and cyclothymia are different things: the former has hypomania and clinical depression, while the latter has hypomania with sub-clinical depression.

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#7

Thanks for the correction @gHlAh , and welcome back to the forums :grin: