Once upon a time I could quasi-adult. I worked out of the house, I was able to somewhat keep the house clean, & I even paid bills.
Now…the motivation to clean is VERY lacking. When the dishes stack up, I get overwhelmed & the desire to clean them is gone. (We have no dishwasher as the landlord won’t allow it.) Sweeping the floors is something I constantly forget about…then when I DO remember, it’s either too late to do it…or my desire to do it is zip…zilch…nopeity nope nope nope. My bedroom looks like a bomb of STUFF just went off in there & every time I try to clean it, I get overwhelmed & wander away from it.
I SHOULD be able to do this. I’m “old enough to know better” (I’ve heard that phrase so many times in my life it almost has no meaning anymore). I’m lucky that my husband is supremely responsible & pays the bills, keeps track of the money…or we’d be on the street right now.
The problem is…I have that set of mantras running through my head. “You’re old enough to know better, Moni.” “You should be able to DO this, Moni” “Stop procrastinating & just DO it, Moni” & I can’t seem to stop it all. It’s like a carousel that sped up & now I just can’t get off of it. Unfortunately, these mantras sabotage ANY gumption or inspiration I would normally get.
It doesn’t help that when it comes to my professional life, I haven’t written a book in nearly 2 years. I see others in the micropress I’m with putting out 2 or more books a year. I KNOW I shouldn’t “compare” myself, but it’s hard when I see them DOING it. Getting their work done…adulting…& being productive. Something I’m not able to do.
How am I supposed to stop the carousel? I don’t even know where to START…let alone where the button is. Does anyone have hints, tips, or tricks? I’d really like to try something else.
FYI, I have tried planners (paper) & I always forget to update, consult them. I have tried apps, & again, I forget to update, consult them. I’m not sure what else I can try to be able to keep on track. I DO use alarms…they’ve helped a little…but I need more. More to be able to do my work, take care of my FIL, keep the house clean, & just be an adult in general. Am I asking for too much?? Other people seem to be able to do it…why can’t I?