Hey guys I’m from India. I have dropped one year for NEET (medical entrance exam). I’m 18 and belong to a lower-middle-class family who’s on the way to becoming poor because of inflation and my dad will not get a pension because they don’t have a caste certificate. I’m freaking out because last year I got 210/720 marks and this year I may get only 300-350/720. I was doing good in school(topped my school in 10th standard) but as the pandemic came I got trapped inside my home with 2 rooms and 5 people. I was struggling to study from home. And the pandemic was there so I was unable to join a library. When I started with drop year I was in depression and was having social anxiety so I was not convinced to go to the library even when the pandemic was over. I have a good IQ and I think I can achieve more with some assistance. I’m not diagnosed with ADHD but I have almost every symptom. But as I was reading these recent post of someone regarded as stemming from India. I searched autism symptoms and I have some of those too. The exam is in 7 days and I’m freaked out. I’m highly suicidal. But my parents will think I had fun wasting my drop year. I don’t want to face anyone’s question and anyone’s disappointed stare. I want peace. I’m very anxious right now. I’m not able to focus on my studies.
i’m not having to study anymore but it was something i always struggled with, I just concentrated on learning the basics i would need to pass and fortunately it worked for me, although i know i could have done much better, but i never did find the secret of how to study with adhd, but for exams i found that going through the paper as many times as i could within the time, each time answering progressively more difficult questions and passing over the questions i was stuck on until the end so i didnt waste time and miss out on any questions i could answer.
hope this helps and good luck
Despite how difficult things are for you right now, you had the energy and good judgment to post here. The questions you are struggling with certainly are challenging. I hope that if you stay connected here, along with anyone else in your orbit who can be supportive . . . that you will . . . sooner or later, piece by piece . . . put together the right combination of services, people, and your own inner strength . . . to get you back on a road that will lead to better times. As easy as it sounds . . . and as difficult as it usually is . . . try to take one day at a time!
please keep in touch.
I will thanks. It’s difficult but possible. I don’t feel like eating because I have chronic nausea because of panic and anxiety. I know I’m overthinking but I can barely help it. I don’t have quality sleep these days. Life is hard and my mind is insane. I don’t know what made me feel good after reading your reply. It surely helped me.
Thank you sirr
My mind is constantly playing this song in my head
Ten more days to find my way
Ten more days til I’m awake
Ten more days till I don’t have to fight.
You are young. You will get plenty of opportunities over time. Don’t give up! The problems you are facing now are temporary so don’t do anything that permanently changes things for you and family.
I suggest trying meditation and deep, slow breathing exercises (pranayama). Go for long walks if possible where you won’t get distracted. Eat because you must. You need energy. If you have a good brain and know the stuff, you can wing it! The key thing is to not get anxious. Just do the best you can and move on. Then if you have time look at the problems you skipped the first time around. One of ADHD powers is hyper focus. This is usually how I dealt with exams!
Remember that no matter what happens in your exam, you will survive and find other opportunities. Hang in there!
Welcome to the HowToADHD community Atharva ( @crisis )!
The most concerning thing you mentioned is being suicidal. Reaching out is absolutely the best thing that you can do. We are here to listen, uplift, encourage, and share from our experiences. But there is also help available to you in India, from people who specialize in helping with suicidal thoughts.
- I found this link to a directory for suicide prevention resources in India. Don’t hesitate to ask for help from them:
India Suicide Helpline Directory | Aasra
This forum is definitely a good place to reach out and find others with ADHD to talk with. As you’ve already experienced, we’ve got great community members here with good advice, from what we’ve lived and learned and shared with each other.
You mentioned doing well up until the pandemic happened, and then developed depression. I got my own ADHD diagnosis several months into the depression, but it was pre-existing anxiety that had made my ADHD symptoms triple in severity (from almost-manageable, to severely-debilitating).
- In my case, the anxiety was from 3-4 years of work-related problems. (The early pandemic didn’t affect me negatively very much, and actually improved my work situation in one aspect.)
Once my anxiety and ADHD were diagnosed and treated (and my work situation had already improved before I got my diagnosis):
- First, my whole life made sense. (I had some minor struggles in school, going back to First Grade, but managed to compensate enough that I was a solid B student taking mostly advanced classes until I graduated from high school. But I had many struggles in college and career due to my ADHD.)
- Second, ADHD medication has been a life-changer, enabling me to tackle some of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in life. (Too much to mention here, and irrelevant to your topic.)
I related my experience with ADHD, Atharva, to try to give you some hope. A clear diagnosis and treatment ought to help you. Do the best that you can for self-care, at all times.
You may initially be diagnosed with depression and treated for that alone. That is because depression (and anxiety) can cause ADHD-like symptoms. It’s not uncommon for people with ADHD to be diagnosed with one or more other conditions (also known as comorbidities), before getting an ADHD diagnosis.
- Don’t give up. Be your own advocate, to get the help that you need!
This is The most authentic community I’ve met. Some communities victimize you instead of encouragement. Some communities pretend to help and empathize. Some communities make jokes about your condition. Some communities doubt a lot. I’m glad I found this. My parents also seem depressed or I don’t know if this is how they behave. They verbally abuse me. I am strong enough to take bully from any person other than my family. But unfortunately, my own parents bully me. When your parents seem to be disgusted with you, that’s a whole other level of helplessness and alone we feel. I feel isolated and for months with a fake smile, it’s hard for me to face anyone. I’ve seen my own friend pass away because of domestic violence. He did it (you know what I mean). And when I’m expected to get a good score and get admitted to med school I struggle with these problems. My parents think my studies are going well. My parents haunt me by saying they’re suicidal because of me and my siblings. My score is suffering.
Just curious about something: DO YOU WANT to get into med school, or is that just WHAT YOUR PARENTS EXPECT of you?
Do you want to be a doctor or a surgeon? Or are you trying to become one to please your parents?
If you don’t want to become a doctor, what else do you want to do?
(I speak as a parent. Two of my children are grown, and figuring out their own paths in life. The other two are still young. I’m hoping to learn from the mistakes I made raising the older two, and do better with the younger two. But, my belief is that a parent’s role is to prepare their kids for their own journeys in life, not to control them as adults.)
They don’t force me for med school admission. I don’t want to get into med school. More correctly I like veterinary and the entrance exam for both is the same. I really really want to be a vet. Even my parents will love it If I pursued it. My parent’s problem is not what I degree I get( They are not aggressive until it’s not related to art). Their problem is me dropping a year for my entrance exam. They are too aggressive about it even if it’s very common to take a drop year for the entrance of engineering or med school. Their problem is if you were a high achiever in school then what’s wrong with you now. They think I’m not working hard. And the truth is I’m not. I never worked hard for anything. Everything I’ve achieved till now was completely interest based and involved near to zero hard work. I do not get the idea of hard-working for anything. My parallel interests are geography, geopolitics, Philosophy, Psychology, Music(I do not have any good skills at all I’m interested only), Writing(I do not have any good skills at all I’m interested only), research in any field like biology or tech-related (I do not have any good skills at all I’m interested only).
With all your interests, it seems like you are a well rounded, multifaceted person.
My parents also discouraged art (because I have an aunt with an art degree who ended up having to work various jobs, and eventually becoming a curator for a small museum). Well, like my aunt, I’ve worked in various jobs.
- I think that if I had studied art and design, I may have become an early web designer. (But, knowing now how bad my self-image was when I was younger, I might not have thought myself capable, at the time.)
(1883-1931), a sensitive and sagacious Lebanese American writer and poet, has left behind a mystical legacy of resonating words of wisdom on this topic. His poem, On Children is short, his message is simple, and yet so infinitely powerful and profound.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you, they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
Gibran’s collection of . . . “answering” questions . . . can be found in his book: