Hi Neil. The stress is due to a repossession of my housing. I am a single mom with two boys, one of whom is very severely developmentally disabled with a complex profile. I live in Montreal which is in the process of gentrifying, so the real estate prices are skyrocketing and people are selling their duplexes/triplexes to rich people who want to throw all the tenants out to make large homes. The stress of this ended me in psych emerge for four days (adjustment disorder with anxious and depressed mood), but then the depressed mood (suicidal thinking) resolved and I got a great treatment program and my ex covered for me completely with me for my kids, which was excellent. However child services got involved, and where I live they are allowed to dig through people’s old files. So they found information from literally as far back as 10 years (and even before) so they decided to attack me very aggressively and unfairly so they can charge me with endangerment, with the purpose of providing me with “assistance” for one year, which is basically just a year of funding for them and a year of harassment for me, because they cannot do anything to help me find stable housing in this city. I wanted to leave Montreal, but my disabled son is 11 so he needs very specialized schooling, which is only available here. So now I am preparing for two different hearings (youth court and the housing board) and facing a search for affordable housing in an extremely, extremely competitive rental market, where no landlords want to rent to me. And even if I find something, I am at great risk of having it repossessed again, because the whole city is gentrifying very quickly now. This is the second year in a row I will have gone before a rental board judge to fight to keep my home.
Sorry for the long story–just venting. My idea for the sleeping pills is until the youth court hearing is resolved, but I don’t know yet when it will be. There is no date set yet. About 10 days ago I had a date and had thought it would be resolved then, but my legal-aid mandate lawyer refused to help me submit my documents (I have a huge pile of documents that refute their mountain of bullshit) and call my witnesses (from the intensive treatment program I did) to explain that I don’t have a serious mental health diagnosis (the only diagnosis now is ADHD) and who are competent to testify as to my psychological stability, which is extraordinary given everything that is going on!
But as you can see, at this point not being able to function is really, REALLY, not an option, and when I can’t sleep I can barely function at all.
IIn the past I was unable to try other ADHD meds because it’s not covered on our government insurance unless regular Ritalin has been shown not to work, but when I tried it and grew tolerant to it I was on private insurance because I had a good job, so the government doesn’t have it in their system. But now maybe I could get them to try again, given what is going on and the fact that my only firm diagnosis is ADHD.