Is doubt before evaluation normal?

Hi everybody,

I had my first appointment with the doctor Monday, and was really excited to get evaluated and hopefully get some help with making it through the day to day “uninteresting” stuff. Today is the day of my evaluation. Then my 40yo raised in a “you just need more discipline” environment brain started going down this line of thought of “what if they’re all right”. Don’t get me wrong I’ve taken nearly every self evaluation online that I could, and a whole bunch of the howtoadhd videos are completely relatable, but there’s this nagging that’s been in my head all week that maybe I didn’t try hard enough, or maybe I’m just looking for an excuse for my laziness. Is this a normal reaction? Did you guys experience anything similar?

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All of the steps you have already taken indicates the likelihood that your self-diagnosis is correct, i.e. ADHD. So be patient :rofl: try to distract :rofl: yourself by doing something impulsive :rofl: so that you will forget :rofl: your worrying for now.

And let us know once you know . . . if you remember! :rofl:

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I’ve definitely experienced the doubt. Even when the diagnosis was first suggested I kind of pushed it off. “I graduated college. I can hold down a job. I wasn’t a hyperactive kid. I didn’t get in trouble.” But there were so many other ways that I struggled and didn’t realize that it could be connected to ADHD. I’d say the important thing is to go through the evaluation and see how it goes. It can be helpful to write down a list of some of the behaviors and challenges you face that are examples of each of the symptoms. That way you can get extra feedback from the provider during the evaluation.

Be brave and good luck!

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In the “ADHD - After Dark” video, there is a quote: “I know this is messy. But you know what? This is me trying. This is me putting in an effort.” That really hit home for me. Whatever it looks like to others, I know I’ve tried. This quote helps me realize I’m not alone in that.

I also believe you’ve tried!

– John

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doubt is normal becasue you are sure about something but unsure about the outcome . I have a lot of doubt when it comes to answers for test unless I am 100% certain that the answer I put down is the correct answer then I doubt myself and change the answer when sometime what I put orginally was the correct answer.

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Been many years since I’ve been in college as an undergrad, over 50 years, but what you say here hit me immediately as exactly the thing that I would do. Instructions usually said select the most appropriate answer . . . Well I would let my creative thinking go to town and overthink the theoretically possible answers, . . . And, more often than not change a correct answer. And then to add insult to injury, when that answer was marked wrong, I would argue with the professor to try to convince him or her that there was a possibility that my answer too could be correct . . . Assuming all of the planets, stars, and other celestial bodies aligned themselves in a straight line . . . and elephants became donkeys . . . and pigs could fly! :joy:

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I think I’m definitely going into “tangent territory” here, and I’m also going to go back farther than college - to middle school. I had a fantastic 8th grade science teacher who really encouraged us to think on our own. His policy for True/False questions on his tests was that if a statement could be interpreted such that the “non-expected” answer made sense, then he would just give everyone in the class credit for the question. Challenge accepted!

One time, after a long back and forth, he agreed and gave everyone credit for one question. It wasn’t until years later that he told me the only reason he backed down was because I was so adamant. At the time, he could not see my interpretation and only saw it much later.

That kind of trust and humility from a teacher is what enabled us to feel safe debating things in the classroom.

– John

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So relatable!

I had to wait a month for my evaluation appointment (last Thursday!), and every day while I waited I wrestled with the same doubts and the horrible conclusions- what if i don’t have it after all, and my teachers were right about me failing to live up to my potential? What if I’m just doing another one of my victim self-narratives? What if I am all the traits I use to identify myself- lazy, distracted, intelligent but not intelligent enough, odd, unfocused, messy, childish, awkward, hyperemotional, self-absorbed etc.
Heck, what if I am affirmatively diagnosed, and I am medicated and therapied and I still fail to thrive?

Yaayyyyy anxiety! :partying_face::roll_eyes:

You’re not alone.

I’m trying to not be so narrow about my definitions of “thrive” or “being a success”, but it’s a hard thing to deprogram!

Regardless of your diagnosis results (and anyone else who might stumble upon this topic later), you are worthy of love and dignity, from others, but especially from yourself. You are not the difficult things you struggle with. :heart:
A good therapist can be tremendously helpful with processing all this!

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Know that one. It encourages doubt. Trust in the impulse which made you take all the self-evaluations. If there right, it might be a chance for getting to know yourself better and for help. If they are wrong the evaluation will probably tell you and you have “proof” and gained an experience. Nothing to loose.

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Hits home. Painful to read. Because I described myself like that, but I believe family and friends did first. So sad. Yes, we are worthy. Regardless. <3

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Thank you for all of the great input on this, it’s really weird to find an online forum where people are encouraging and caring. I get to have another appointment Thursday to go over everything and get a course of action in place. You guys are awesome :smile:

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Update: Officially adhd combined presentation but with a strong lean to the inattentive side. The Dr seamed surprised that I made it to 40 without being diagnosed. I’m kind of excited to see what happens next and maybe get a better handle on life :smile:

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Reminds me when in undergrad, as required, I took one math class of my choosing. Since at the time, I was thinking of becoming a chemistry major, I took calculus. What a mistake! Then again what a nice thing to discover an understanding Professor who, while maybe not understanding ADHD, he was able to recognize my struggle. On tests, sometimes I got the right answer and more times than not (well you know). He said more than once to me, “Barry, I have never seen the problem worked out quite this way! very creative.”

And though by all standards I should’ve gotten a failing grade in the course . . . he gave me a “C” . . . which I figured was for “Creativity”!

What a guy!

There are some very special :sunglasses: people in this world who, though they don’t have a clue about ADHD, are clued into people!

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Congratulations! I hope the diagnosis helps give you some clarity and direction. :slight_smile:

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