So I was on vacation last week and now that I am back at work everyone says did you have fun on vacation. But I’m not like exactly sure if it was fun or just content and not stressful. We did a few things that could be called fun but do I need to have extreme over the top things happening to say I’m having fun? Not sure what is going on with me. When I say I guess I had fun I get the response of what do you mean you don’t know. So my dilemma isn’t do I just say oh it’s was a lot of fun and let it be or try and say well I just can’t process the emotion and understand what that means.
MBalog. I, too, find it hard sometimes to express happiness or even realize “Hey, this is a happy thing that I’m doing.”. I’ve recently been diagnosed at 39. My meds are helping me in a lot of areas, including the happy ones. There are days of just pulling the covers up over my head and not facing the day, but they’re getting less and less thankfully. I’ve discussed the happy issue with my Psychologist and she’s stated a few points that directly relate to me. Are you seeing anyone to talk this over with?
Well not yet talked to my psychologist but tomorrow is therapy so that’s probably the topic for the visit.
Personally, I think it comes down to how you define happy and fun. Sounds to meike maybe you’re having someone else’s definitions, not your own. For me, reading my favourite book for the n’th time is fun. Most people would consider it stupid, probably boring, but not FUN! But to me, it is. And if you did things you enjoyed, you probably had fun. Problem comes when talking with other people, and they WANT you to say you had FUN, when that specific thing was just fine, and quite relaxing/OK. My wife rarely ever feels happy, she feels relaxed, calm, content instead. Takes some getting used to, but that’s her ‘fun/happy’, I guess. So it all depends on your personal definition of fun and happy, since you can’t judge your own happiness and fun others’ definitions. Although it CAN make things awkward when discussing it with others who don’t (yet?) get that it’s an individual thing, and think everyone should have the same definitions (like your colleagues…)
Personally, I find many of the things that I’m expected to find fun to be inane and boring. As is the small talk that people make when they aske each other “How are you?” Nobody wants to hear the real answer. “How was your weekend?” Nobody cares.
So if someone asks me if I had fun on the weekend, I’ll just say something like “More fun than a barrel of monkeys”. and then deflect it with something like “What about you?”
Most people are happier talking about themselves, but are not really interested in listening to other people. And it would take too long for me to explain what I find fun, my emotional ambivalence, and how any day that isn’t all about me in a foetal position shutting out the world is an improvement on some I’ve had.
Thanks guys that is exactly what’s happening here. I knew everyone here would understand what’s happening and until it got pointed out I wasn’t seeing it. Your all right I have a different view of what I like to do that’s fun for me. I will say that one thing that put a smile on my face while on vacation was when we were taking off in the plane. It’s so amazing how much power is behind those engines and how they work!
Don’t get me started… I used to fly planes, and really miss it. Taking off is cool. But there’s no buzz like landing a plane in a crosswind and nailing it.
But there’s also nothing like the red face and nervous smile if you get it all lumpy. “Whoops! Sorry 'bout that! Must have been a rock on the runway…”.
I do find that a lot of time spent on vacations is finding time to unwind. The other part of it going all over trying to see and experience every thing it has to offer (seeing the sight, window shopping). You don’t really get to enjoy it. Mostly due to the fact something else has caught your eye or you know it’s time to move on to the next thing. I feel it’s helpful in my experience to be honest with yourself as to what you will enjoy and what you wont and focus more on the former. I could spend 2 hours looking over the local art boutique but I’m not likely to enjoy it as much as going for a hike or something of the sort.
You mentioned you liked the experience of the plane taking off. I dont know if it would be your thing but you could take flying lessons. Obviously there is a serious safety concern with piloting any plane as there is with driving any vehicle.
I’m not sure flying is such a great idea for someone who gets distracted so easily! So after my therapy last night I came to the conclusion it’s not a bad thing that I didn’t have fun on vacation my idea of fun has to be very engaging to my brain like zip lining or maybe rock climbing but the other stuff isn’t fun it’s content.
And sometimes you don’t need fun, you need relaxation, which others might think is ‘waste’ of a holiday. But everyone needs to recharge sometimes, and doing it in a new and different place can be nice too, even if it isn’t exactly ‘fun’.
Ah. fun is overrated. Not in the sense of enjoying yourself, that’s always good. But lately, I became wary of fun as something poeple set out to have. When people try to get me to do something I know I’m not goiing to enjoy, sooner or later they’ll say something like “it’ll be fun, you’lll see”. Usually right after “you need to get out of your comfort zone”.
These “fun” things are always activities, as in: they take an effort. Often they involve dressing up, be it a team shirt or a fancy dress thing. There’s also a lot of affirming that you’re having fun, either by shouting it or by posing for photographs.
It’s like fun can’t be something that just happens, it has to be made. It’s a product.
I like bowling. But I won’t put on a stupid team shirt to do it.
It’s like explaining a joke. It never makes it funny. Or, more to the point, over-constructing a joke’s setup to the point where the gag can’t deliver on it anymore. Or like that horrible nineties hit (I think that was only in Germany) that was a cover or remix of some Herbie Hancock tune and they sampled somebody shouting “funky, funky” because it was the only way they could get any Funky into it.
Oh, and speaking of songs:
It’s slightly off-topic but not really.
"Am I having fun? Let me show you, here’s a picture, that’s the one
It makes me look the way I hoped when I was young
But am I having fun yet am I having fun yet
Am I "
For me fun really hits on a couple levels. I could be totally satisfied spending an entire vacation just drilled into a video game. That would be intensely fun to me! comparatively going on vacation with my family is like less so, but rewarding in other ways.
Maybe there are some other things that can trigger making you happy rather than a traditional vacation? I find being around a sunny place with lots of happy peope (even if i’m not interacting with them) triggers happiness for me.
Are your vacations constrained by family or money? Could you do more of the things that get your brain engaged even if they aren’t traditional?
So both money and the wife have an impact on my ability to do extreme things. I would have to do stuff myself cause the wife couldn’t participate due to health issues. Next time I’m going on a vacation I will not put a expectation on it and just try and enjoy being away.
Wow that’s such a good song for this topic. How did you ever find that?