I just submitted a job application, and to my surprise it asked specifically if I had a disability and needed accommodations. This made me pretty happy since I haven’t gotten accommodations where I currently work and I do think that the little bit of extra help will go a long way. (I’m very, very tired of always getting blamed for things not being put in the “right place.”)
So I have my fingers crossed that this goes well, since it’s a job I’m actually interested in doing, too.
Sounds good. I think - to be honest- I am at a point, where I still would be to shy or to ashamed (stupid) to ask for accommodations. Don’t feel that I can be open about it. Still trying to masking it up. Not helpful.
i don’t think that’s stupid. i think it’s a very logical – even pragmatic – response to a culture that punishes difference. there are many, many examples of people asking for accommodation and having that used against them, even where this is illegal. and who among us hasn’t experienced negative reactions after disclosing ADHD in one context or another?
so i don’t think we should beat ourselves up for being hesitant to make these disclosures. that shame isn’t ours – it belongs to the society as a whole and to the individuals who would treat us like second class citizens.
beyond that, we have the same right to privacy as anyone else. if we do not need or want formal accommodations at work, we shouldn’t feel bad about not disclosing. we don’t owe that to other people. we just owe it to ourselves to make a decision about disclosing disability that is right for us.
love how you phrased that.
bitter pill for me.
@papserweight makes a good point about the whole shame and privacy thing, but I also want to add that “stupid” is a negative label that we and others often use, especially in regards to ADHD. We are not stupid, we are often rather clever, creative, and intelligent people struggling to live in a neurotypical world. (In fact, a lot of people believe that ADHD brains have a higher IQ than neurotypicals do.)
It’s not our fault that the world was designed the way it is currently set up.
The stupid in brackets was supposed to mean “it is stupid that I feel ashamed. I shouldn’t” But maybe it also carried “I feel stupid when I ask” I rather feel complicated or egoistic or getting on the nerves of the others. My partner for example I have the feeling simply doesn’t take my needs seriously, he doesn’t see how desperately I sometimes need a procedure to be finished or my impulse not to be interrupted and tells me that it “is not always the way you like it.” or “don’t be so complicated about it, this is not a problem.” or stuff like that. I hate it, when a thousand of things are not finished and need for some procedures to follow the through e.g. when I am doing the bills, I can not just stop and finish it another day because I am tired or it should be going to bed, if I don’t finish it then I won’t finish it.
I am always proven right, we will not do it and we will phase the consequences, but he makes me feel “stupid” that I am insisting and that I can’t be flexible when I want to be successful.