I’ve learned recently that a lot of people with ADHD were social rejects when they were young, and it was a major relief to learn that it wasn’t, among other hypotheses that I’d come up with, that I was evil or that I smelled horrible but had become nose-blind from living with it every day. However, it’s still hard learning how to make friends as an adult; it feels like I’m only learning now what most other people learned as a little kid, and that everyone already has a best friend or a good friend group and isn’t really interested in meeting anyone else.
Long story short, I’m fresh out of college. I had horrible social anxiety by the time I got to college and wasn’t really able to try and get to know people until my senior year, during which I met some people. It felt amazing having people that wanted to be my friends; however, good old hyper-focus kicked in and I instantly assumed we were, like, best friends, talked to them all the time, asked to hang out all the time, leaned on them for a ton of emotional labor, etc. I moved cities after college to be with them, and took a pretty crappy job since it was the first one I could find and was desperate to stay in the first place I’d had real friends. Well, it turns out that they weren’t as enthusiastic as I assumed. There’s so much I could write, but it would take a while. Even though I know I didn’t know any better, it’s just horribly embarrassing, and I have to feel for them and regret the clinginess that I put them through.
I guess what I’m getting at is, brains, how have any of you dealt with lack of social experience as an adult? I’m typically pretty good at dealing with embarrassment, as most people with ADHD probably are, but this hits at a deeper level. It’s just confirming all I learned about myself as a kid. Anyways, any stories, thoughts, advice would be greatly appreciated. Apologies if this could’ve been consolidated into a preexisting thread, but this feels like a pertinent topic.