Lets share some body positivity!

Okay so today is one of those hot days where you can wear pretty revealing clothes. I remember mom telling me recently that maybe I shouldn’t wear shorts this year cause I gained quite some weight and I gain it all in my legs. She had good intentions with it, but obviously I told her: I’ll wear what I want.

That’s also exactly what I’m doing right now! It’s pretty funny how I’ve been so insecure about my body all these years and that, now I’m actually the heaviest I’ve ever been I’m loving myself. Am I planning on loosing weight? Depends on how you look at it. I’m not focussing on that anymore. I just wanna focus on adapting a healthier lifestyle and just changing my muscle to fat ratio in my body. I’m not necessarily looking to loose weight anymore and I also don’t care if I look the same with more muscles or different. I really don’t care. Loosing weight would just be a little extra bonus for me these days. And I think that everyone should think that way. If you wanna change your diet and workout more it should be bc you wanna live a more healthy lifestyle. Not bc you wanna lose weight. I’m still busy changing my diet, and putting that in my lifestyle. I’m almost there. I just could cut out a few carbs cause I’m eating a little too much of those. And I’m still recovering from my burnout so I don’t have a lot of energy to do proper workouts yet. But I am doing things like walking and such so I’m also not sitting still.

But, here’s my look for the day:

And I’m putting the picture here to show that also someone who’s not super skinny can be confident in their skin and looking like this with a little bit bigger legs is absolutely okay! I’m aware that I’m still not super oversized or something. But I’m also not like a super skinny person Or have rocker abs or something.

I hope this helps others feel more confident too, cause that’s why I’m posting this! I’m really happy with myself. It had to start with accepting the way I look and it turned to loving myself. It took me 2 whole years to go from hating myself to loving myself and for some it may take much longer. That doesn’t matter. It’s not an overnight thing as long as you’re trying to work on it.

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You look good to me and happy.

I have gone up and down in weight by 30 pounds several times. I have no clue why it happens but I slowly loose a pound or two a week. Then suddenly I start to gain it back fast. I am on the high side now and trying to drop some to be my usual weight. If I drop a few more it will make me healthier. I am not going to get in a bathing suit any time soon so I am not stressing over it.

image

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I’m glad for you! It’s great to feel good about yourself.
I’m being more or less on skinny side now. I was really thick couple of years ago, almost 1.5 times more than now, so now i have all kinds of oversized clothes for some time before they get worn out. I even donated some old pants for my friends’ wedding party for the couple to run together wearing them :grin:
It’s a bad idea to please people with your own appearance. I had people complaining about how thick i am, how thin i am, how bald or how overgrown i am, etc., etc.
My own father told me yesterday that he used to pull up 17 times when he was my age. I just manage 3-4 now, but it’s the best result i ever had, and i am proud of myself with it. And he definitely wasn’t building houses when he was my age, or doing a lot of other stuff :slight_smile: It’s possible i get even better at pull-ups, but i’m not going to focus on it.

I started to get thinner because i didn’t like my appearance, but with time i started to care less about it, and more about feeling myself light and agile again. Now i can run, jump, change directions much easier, and this beats appearance by the mile. I don’t know about how that relates to body-positivity, but i like being more or less fit. It’s really more about health and your own physical abilities than about appearance. In the end it’s pleasing yourself, not somebody else.

Here i am :slight_smile:
minusforty

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Looking good!

Yeah that’s a thing. If you follow what other people say you’re never good enough. My mom sometimes Told me I should loose weight, and then when I tried to she’d tell me I’d be too skinny and developing an eating disorder. It’s so stupid. It’s the same thing as whenever it rains you want sunshine and whenever the sun finally is out you want rain again. The only person you really have to please is yourself. And exactly what you say, it’s about being fit. For me I can tell my condition and strength have gone significantly backwards. But what else can you expect from a burnout? I’m not mad about it, but I’m sad I don’t have it anymore so I eventually wanna build it back. But I’m making sure to take my time and infuse it in my lifestyle.

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I had a humbling lesson on raising kids from my grown daughter. I never intended her to feel ashamed of her body, but because of my traditional values I insisted that the clothes we bought her were modest enough to meet my expectations (nothing too severe…just that tops could not be too low cut and shorts not too high cut).

She shared with me a year or so ago that she developed a negative view of her body just from that. In her youth, she was always very trim (she never gained any excess weight until her second child was born), and she seemed to like how she looked, and she was very open most of the time. I didn’t realize that she developed this view of herself around her early teens.

She now is a body positivity advocate, and she had given me some very welcome advice for how to raise her baby sister, to help her to have a healthy self-image.

(I’m proud of my daughter, and am delighted to see what kind of person she has grown up to become.)

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you look amazing!:heart: btw, love the stuffed animals. :joy::heart:

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I went crazy on the thread @erin started. I taught to many kids who thought they were fat. I would ask to see what they said was fat. They had none but it was hard to convince them. Some very wonderful kids thought terrible things about themselves like they were dumb. I posted the definition of what was called Learning Disabilities. They would not believe me that they had to be average intelligence or better to be in the class they were in.

We had a program that helped students understand that they were not alone in their feelings. There was a part of the program where we took a step over the line if we felt like the speaker talked about. Teachers and adult volunteers participated with our high school students. The kids were shocked that adults had the same feelings that they have. The program ended with everyone writing a letter to themselves. Volunteers would read their letter aloud. It is sad what we do to ourselves. I am not sure of what I am trying to say. I just wish everyone could be more excepting of themselves and others.

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Thank you! And I knew someone would mention them! :rofl::rofl:
I have more than those two. They’re just some of the biggest I have.

But, thank you​:heart::heart::heart:

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I learned to approach it in a different way. I indeed often ask why they think that way of themselves and what they think looks bad. Then I’ll go ahead and tell them that 1: a lot of people struggle with this and 2: I personally think they’re beautiful, and most importantly 3: everyone is flawed and no one is perfect. Even those people with them rocking abs aren’t. They’ll be able to pick something on themselves that they don’t like either.

And then I usually go on to tell them that they don’t immediately have to love themselves, but should first accept the way they look. And like I said before, this is not an overnight process. It’ll take some time. And they will have to find themselves what works best for them and how they can best do this.

What I also find very important is that whenever someone is an emotional eater and has mental health issues going on I always tell them to first take care of their mental health and afterwards their physical health will often times naturally follow. Again, this doesn’t happen overnight. Let it take some time. But it’s simple, you can’t properly take care of your physical health if your mental health is trash. And believe me, I tried. It’s impossible.

Lastly I always make sure to sympathize with someone. They need to feel understood and listened to whenever they tell you they don’t like the way they look. That way it comes from a better place whenever you’re telling all these other things and they’ll take it more to heart.

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A funny little update here: I just randomly felt like working out tonight so I did. I decided to do Pilates since that’s a little more relaxed since my stamina is below 0 at this point and it’s fucking hot and humid so I’m not about to sweat like hell.

Last year I was able to get through a Pilates workout just fine. It was challenging, but not too hard. Today, at least half of it I either couldn’t hold it long enough or had to modify. Am I upset about it? No. Am I disappointed in myself for loosing all the strength? No. Am I sad about it? Yes, cause it just doesn’t feel nice to not have the strength anymore I once had. But it’s not something to beat myself up about. Part of the reason I lost it is because my mental health and energy levels declined quite some last year and the other part is because it was a conscious choice of mine. I knew this was gonna be the consequence.

Something I learned about myself this year is that I build habits the best whenever I just put my mindset into wanting to do something regularly, but only doing it if I really have the motivation for it. This way it becomes fun for me to do it and I’ll start doing it more often. For most people this method works the opposite, but for me it works well. So that’s what I’m gonna do now. I feel like I’m ready to put regular excersize slowly in my lifestyle so imma start building it up now. I hope I’ll get a little more fit again so I have my strength back. It sucks to have none of it when you first did :confused:

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