Hi! To start off, I’m really excited to finally be part of the forum! I understand that this is a confusing topic, and how I tagged it with “information” doesn’t make sense (yet), but hear me out (please!). So, I sent my skeptical parents a link to the videos Jessica’s made about supporting people with AD/HD (my dad has it, but he doesn’t understand how I’m not hyperactive, and still refer to it as AD/HD and not ADD). My parents aren’t big fans of the internet, and they think (for some reason) that How to ADHD is some kind of marketing campaign that targets people with learning disabilities to take advantage of their “troubles.” I love the channel, and it’s really helped me cope ever since I was first diagnosed. I’m a teenager, so I have to rely on my parents for a lot of stuff, but not enough for them to help me out with my ADHD a lot. It’s that annoying “in between,” where I’m not given enough freedom and responsibility, but they still expect me to do everything by myself, which I struggle with. If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for sticking with me. I’m trying to stop saying sorry so often, so thank you for not leaving as soon as I started going down that rabbit hole (I’m very grateful for Jessica’s video about that, it’s really helped improve my self-esteem). Basically, my parents don’t trust any site or channel that hasn’t been certified by HON (Health On the Net), and I would suggest that someone submits her channel to be certified, but they make people pay to submit anything. I think it’s really unfair, but there isn’t anything I can do. Yes, HON does certify websites that aren’t made by medical professionals (as long as the website/channel reminds people of that, which this one definitely does). If Jessica requested certification, I’m pretty sure they’d agree that she can be trusted, but I’m not sure how I can request. My parents are mad about me using this site and trusting the channel, so does anyone have any tips on how to convince them otherwise? Jessica’s videos have helped me out often, but it’s getting to the point that my dad is going to block this website using the parental controls on my phone and computer. Why are parents so annoying? Ok, I’ll stop going on about it now, I think you get the point. If anyone has any ideas to help me out, please let me know! Also, thanks again for sticking with me for this long. I know the description is supposed to be much shorter.
I know it has been a few months since you first asked your question, but I don’t see any answers and since I just joined the forum, I thought I’d answer from my perspective. I’m a parent whose youngest is still a teenager. I’ve also spent many years as a leader of youth groups, so I get to deal with teens who don’t share genes with me.
If your dad doesn’t understand how you can be ADHD without the H, then can you redirect him and his question to whoever diagnosed you? Us parents have an annoying habit of not trusting our kids’ knowledge, but we will trust the medical providers. If he won’t ask your doctor, perhaps you could ask the doctor to explain to him or refer him to books or articles or maybe even this web site.
As to the value of HowToADHD for you, maybe a story might help a bit. I have no formal training in medicine (beyond first aid) and psychology. But when I work with youth, I often have to accommodate their different learning styles. Sometimes I try to teach something and someone doesn’t get it. If I teach it a second time the exact same way, they most likely will not get it that time either. I have to try to present it differently - hopefully in a way that connects with them. I’m not trained to diagnose anyone, but that doesn’t mean I can’t use techniques that are known to help different learning styles. If something helps, then it is valuable.
I regard HowToADHD that way. Whether or not someone is diagnosed with ADHD, it provides lots of ideas to try, each of which may or may not help you. And it does so in a very accessible and entertaining way. It can also provide a good send-off point for further personal research about the topics discussed. Maybe if your dad looks at it that way, it wouldn’t seem quite so “dangerous.”
I randomly stumbled across this post as well and thought I could share some additional resources that might be useful.
The two medical professionals they can look into are:
- Dr Russell Barkley(This is how you treat ADHD based off science video)
- Dr. Ned Hallowell (Driven To Distraction Book and How to ADHD with Special Guest Dr. Hallowell!!! video)
They say the exact same things as Jessica says on her channel. Maybe share these with them. There are plenty of credible sources that back up her videos.
Oh, that just means they’re in on it! That proves it’s a conspiracy! Can’t have a conspiracy without people conspiring!
I’m not quite sure I get your parents’ concern. Maybe if you’re also supporting Jessica’s Patreon, because look! She’s making money! But the videos are free for anybody to watch, patron or not. As scams go, this would be a pretty chill one. So you like the channel and it helps you. Which of these is grounds for parental disapproval, exactly?
If you really can’t agree on the value of the videos, though, your best bet is to leave it at that. They’re not for everybody, not even for everybody with ADHD. But as long as they’re for you, that’s good enough, right? Maybe you can bond over some other source or start your own two-person self-help group. (If your parents insist on protecting you from the scam, that’s a bit harder. Maybe ask for evidence. That should buy you some time.)
As for the non-hyperactive thing: ADD without the H is totally a thing and well-documented at that. So is ADHD with mental hyperactivity as opposed to physical. Your dad can research that himself if he doesn’t trust your sources.
Also, considering it’s been a while since you started this thread: Any development since?
@Sofia, you’re not alone.
I am not an expert in ADHD, but from what I’ve heard and read in my research, and from my own observations, I’ve noticed these kinds of opinions that people have.
Many people with the Inattentive presentation of ADHD (which was previously known as ADD) get the same response, even from the people who know them best.
Also, for males with the Hyperactive and Impulsive traits, it is usually much more obvious. I think that boys and young men with the HI presentation are more likely to engage in risky behaviors. (Although not all guys who do impulsive or dangerous things have ADHD; some of that is cultural, one-upmanship, or whatever.)
From what I’ve read about girls and women with the HI presentation, dangerous behavior isn’t as common (or perhaps just less obvious), but other behaviors such as being very talkative, or perhaps appearing “flighty” by rapidly changing activities or interests.
From all the many people I’ve met in life, I’ve only correctly guessed that one young woman I know as being an ADHD “Brain”. Others who I’ve met have shared that they were ADHD, and for some I could reflect back and recognize, but for some I never would have known if they hadn’t said anything.
I myself am a male of the ADHD Inattentive presentation. I’ve gotten-by alright most of my life, but I’m sure that people who know me well would recognize the Inattentive traits in me. Many people that I interact with on a casual basis would never know.
You could be ADHD, and only the most astute and informed observers be able to tell. We often find ways to adjust, to compensate, or to play to our strengths.
@Sofia, you might have to be patient. Your dad may or may not come around. I had to be patient with myself. I only just figured this out at 45, but looking back can see that I had the Inattentive traits at 6 years old…I did well in school, so nobody thought anything of it.
Not sure if it’s still actual
Perhaps try bombarding them with scientific evidence? - go to google scholar and try to find out studies which are supporting your point.
Or even better, I would make them watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWnJ4wjVu9k
I know Dr Amen is controversial but actually seeing the differences in the brain activity and hearing those stories is quite convincing.