Need help about regulating social life

Hola I’m sorta new, sorta not, followed the channel for a few years, like right before I was diagnosed and all but not usually the type of person to get involved in forms and all because it seems like something to me that could easily be a waste of time for me and just a straight time sink, but idk, this may actually help me out a bit, I commented a pretty long message on Jessica’s 400,000 sub video (congrats !) to which I will comment in a separate paragraph in case of need for context so I hopefully get my idea across without mis-conveying it, but I wasn’t sure where to ask for a video suggestion, but I need help regulating being social and practical I guess with coping mechanisms, although I hope Jessica or a member of her team is able to see the message I will gleefully take any of your brain’s suggestions to my situation :slight_smile:

my message:
Hey, I have a topic suggestion I was really wondering if you could do a video on, I’m not sure the appropriate place to write this message, and also considering that there’s going to be a bunch of comments you might not see this, so if someone else knows a better way to ask Jessica if she can cover this topic I’d be very appreciative, but nonetheless, I’m 17 and was diagnosed with ADHD at like 14 after I had been overly fed up with trying to just deal with it through behavior, it was suspected I had it because my brother and father have it, and uncles and grandfathers and a grandmother with it on my moms side, (as well as ASD fun fact but neurologists have determined I’m not at all on that spectrum just ADHD), but i’m side tracking, the point being, I have pretty severe ADHD, I’m not saying that, well I am but multiple neurologists and doctors have said that to me, to the point that 2 separate doctors have brought up the notion of prescribing me Desoxyn which is meth-amphetamine (dextro only), which is a pretty rare and expensive drug for ADHD, and just about the strongest there is, just saying to reference the severity, please anyone don’t ask your doctor to prescribe it if you think you meds aren’t enough, methamphetamine also causes far more oxidative damage consistently and has higher potential for abuse, its also pretty likely health insurance won’t cover it because it’s like 1,800$, there’s tons more regulations on when you have to call it in prior because pharmacies don’t carry it, there’s regulations on the pills can only be made in like 5mg ir now, so if it’s a 15mg dose you take, you gotta take 3 pills, which doesn’t seem an issue but there’s regulations on pills per bottle etc. which causes issues when you order it to a pharmacy, it just because a big hassle so, just trust what your doctor may think is best, also your doctor might put in your medical records drug seeking, but once again back on topic, I’ve spent a good portion of my life untreated with my ADHD, well besides some coping mechanisms and Large amounts (over grams daily i’ve since just about stopped consuming it anymore) of caffeine in an attempt to help focus, but I’ve always talked a lot, as a kid, and teen, so much that I cracked my forehead open as a child but on the way to the hospital I was talking, which I was unaware made the hole in my head worse, by stretching and moving it, so I talk a lot as a kid, but fast forward, 8th grade still untreated, I get sick of always feeling like wasted potential and really try to focus real hard in school etc. I got serious, I got in less trouble, grades became slightly better, my grades were like 105% in one class 2 B’s maybe 2 C’s and a 15% in a class I forgot to turn in my work, but I passed and all did okay, but When I got serious, I kinda just forced my self to be anti-social and pushed everyone like all my peers and friends away from me, so this way I would do more work and get less distracted by people, I know it may seem odd or extreme, but I can’t be social without destroying my GPA etc. I get like addicted to talking and being social fast, I somewhat got used to being anti-social, which helped me not get distracted by not talking to people constantly, Boom! fast-forward some more the 2nd semester of 9th grade i get diagnosed etc. I’m given adderal, I wait to see how it effects me after the honeymoon phase, as I don’t wanna think that the possible high it can cause initially is what it’s supposed to do, like how they do 5 mg 1x a day for a week then 5 mg 2x a day etc. so you aren’t getting a lot of euphoria as a side effect, but it worked like a beauty even way after the honeymoon phase, but the 1st time I had an epiphany, like I was like “so that’s how normal people feel, and I can see how I can be annoying, and I’ve never actually felt this calm and in-control of just everything about myself.” now important to note here by now I’ve become slightly, very slightly more social here like without the adderal, but I noticed even a year later while being on it (some dosage increases but idk the timeline on it), it made me slightly less social but not in a bad way, it slightly made me want to be less social but more so, it made me rather not NEED to be social anymore, while on adderal I was slowly able to gain control of me choosing to talk to people or to decide not to and do my work, or talk to someone for 5 minutes and go “oh wait i gotta go do x, y, and z lemme get back to you” instead of either talking 5 hours, failing to do x,y, and z because i forgot, or instead of forcing my self to hermit crab it up so i can be somewhat productive, it was a crazy thing I didn’t think it could do but it did, over time tho as tolerance has and meds have been changed etc. and lowered and increased etc. this effect has dissipated, I’m currently on 2x a day 10mg Dexedrine (100% dextro-amp), while the meds help my vocabulary while talking, and actually make me like not interrupt people while talking and make me more patient, I no longer have like this ability or mental capacity to go, oh wait i gotta go do this or that, ill talk to you later, or even realize that while im talking for 4 hours, that im doing it and I should be doing something that I have to do instead, now I’m very likely under-medicated, before I was on 30mg ir adderal which is 2.5 mg dextro amp more and 7.5 levo amp more, and some doctors even thought that meth was appropriate, but i’ve switch doctors and due to the pandemic messing with my meds and getting appointment etc. isn’t of ease, so I have to find behavioral ways for me to treat my inability to control whether or not i’m social, which puts me in a bad situation because I don’t have the option to be anti-social because I’m at home with my family with an ASD grandmother who talks and talks about random things to me constantly which starts me talking about random things, and we talk for hours, and this actually applies to other people in the house, plus the whole anti-social option leads to depression which becomes less productive so it isn’t too sustainable, but I can’t regulate being social, so now that people come up and talk to me or w.e, I’ll talk for hours and hours and won’t be productive, and will be unaware im doing it, i’m very unable to regulate it, which then if i’m on meds I get in a pickle where, I wasted my meds by talking about stuff and not doing stuff so then I used my meds, so then now I have stuff to do, and i’m on a comedown from my meds and feel overwhelmed because the workload builds up so its a very bad spiraling domino effect, so besides medication what can I do to regulate being social in a healthy way, and kinda telling them they need to not talk to me isn’t an option, as they don’t have the best self control with that stuff either, hence hours long convos all the time. I need to be able to do it myself, without any extremes, without relying on drugs, and not relying on them to not start a convo, and while not trying to be rude either, and also being able to communicate in case I do need to talk about something or need help idk but not transpire into 30 different 6 hour long convos, I need idk a coping mechanisms or something that’s possible now, besides staying up all night when people aren’t awake, I apologize for how long this is, believe it or not I really tried to condense it :wink: but yeah it also might not make a whole lot of sense, like the line of reasoning to it, because I kinda jump back and forth and side to side with ideas, I understand it’s very likely you or any of your team may not read this, I get your very busy, and Idk if this is the appropriate way of asking for this type of video but if someone could contact her with this message in a better please, do so, also because it’s confusing and long, maybe just TL;DR how to regulate being social with only coping mechanisms ? but leave the message for possibly context in case it helps or idk if there’s a better way to summarize it, but yeah, stay safe and well Brains :slight_smile:

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sorry, as if my initial post wasn’t long enough, but P.S I do now that exercise, especially aerobic exercise is a great way of treating this, but I have bad exercised induced asthma so I get like sick and fatigued from running/jogging later even sometimes when I used my albuterol inhaler I still get bad inflammation, and bc of the pandemic I can’t get a steroidal inhaler as of now, so between my asthma, commitment issues, and time management because if I do get myself to workout, its usually excessive and for too long, exercise currently isn’t too much of an option, I do meditate tho, but it’s inconsistent and I kinda forget it’s an option sometimes.

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Hello, welcome to the forum.

Sorry, but i can not read your first post due to the wall of text, I think a lot of people on here would struggle with that too. It might be a good idea to edit your post and put in some paragraphs or just some breaks in the text. You might get some useful advice if people find it easier to read your post.

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I agree with Neil, I would love to read the story but I don’t think I can ^^

Could you maybe break it down into chapters of max. 5 lines and give each of them a headline? That would be ideal, but I think even some paragraphs might help for a start :slight_smile:

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Sorry it was kinda just like a conscious stream of thoughts and I was kinda tired so it probably doesn’t even have a good line of reasoning to it either, essentially, I have very bad ADHD, to the point that different doctors have brought up prescribing me methamphetamine at 14, so currently I may be slightly under-medicated but i’ve somewhat managed even before I treated ADHD with medications, but the was a point that I forced myself to be anti-social by pushing people away etc. So I could focus in school and do my work, it somewhat worked but can lead to depressive cycles, that was before medication but even somewhat after medication, but there was a point in which when I was medicated, I could control how social I was, like medication didn’t increase me wanting to be social and kinda decreased it in a way that I didn’t have a problem with being social, and not in a social anxiety type of way, but in a more addiction like manner, like my meds gave me the option to where, if I wanted to talk to someone or someone wanted to talk to me, I could control myself, I could stop the conversation if I wanted and go take care of my responsibilities, where naturally I can only force myself to make sure I have no social contact with people, or i’m talking with someone for 7 hours and have no idea im doing it, instead of taking care of what I need to.

Now because of the pandemic, and switching doctors, I can not force myself to avoid people to do work because i’m in my house and the people in my house, do not understand how disruptive it is to me when they start a conversation with me that lasts hours while i should be doing work instead, and the fact I have no self control in this conversation anymore, and I also don’t wanna be rude, which I think before on my meds I almost didn’t care about being rude because I had stuff to do, I can’t change my medication right now because the new doctor has been kinda weird with my medication, I can’t really take part in aerobic exercise because I have pretty bad exercised-induced asthma and have only 1 type of inhaler in which I need a second one for inflammation which i’m unable to get, so currently all I have to rely on is coping mechanisms and things like that to even let me know that I’m getting distracted, because im unaware most times when i’m talking to someone that I have something else to do at that time.

I was wondering if Jessica and her team could do a video on regulating being social or if anyone else has advice, because it’s a lot harder than other stimuli, because people walk and talk, so it’s hard enough to not get distracted by like notifications on the phone which I can just inhibit on my phone or clear them etc. But people can walk up to you and talk, so it’s not like you can just prevent people from completely talking to you, especially with the stay at home order, so I have trouble with not being distracted by conversations, and aswell as in text but it’s a lot worse in person, because I can’t prevent it and im unaware that im doing something wrong by doing it.

Idk if maybe trying to read it piece by piece slowly would help it make more sense, but idek how I would break it up, because I have a habit of conscious streaming when stressed, and my thoughts usually don’t follow a linear train of thought, they usually side track and then 5 minutes later go back to the original thought with no indication that im going to go back to the original thought, but it seems idk obvious to me because i’m used to thinking like this and I mean well its also my own thoughts so of course it makes sense to me. But yeah idk but if it’s spacing im not sure, which I should have probably thought of because im dyslexic so I know how hard that can be sometimes but idrk the right way for that for my just stream of thoughts, but i appreciate the input.

I hope that clears things up a bit

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