Hi there, I am 29 and I have ADHD. I am very happy to have found this forum. It is reassuring to know there are other like minded people out there struggling with the same thing. I was diagnosed with ADHD at a young age and surprisingly I have never been on medication (I took Ritalin one time as a child and it made me sleep walk, never been on anything since). Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be on medication but I honestly don’t want to take medication. Maybe I am just not familiar with it…
I find myself having conversations with my husband… “I wish I was ‘normal’ like you.” Or after watching Jessica on TED talks…neurotypical is a better term for normal. I am clumsy, I talk fast, I interrupt people, I tend to not hear my husband when he is talking to me, I need lists to survive day to day, I have so many passions and goals (which is probably why I don’t have a career at age 29), and well… the list goes on and on as you probably know.
One thing I have always struggled with (more lately than in the past) has been my overactive brain. When I was younger I felt fearless and as I’ve gotten older… it is like I have allowed my fears to take over. It’s like I am getting worse as I age. I feel anxious often. Of course, this has increased since I started nursing school, which makes sense because…well, stress. But I feel as if my emotions are all over the place sometimes. Is it my ADHD, my over active brain that is the cause of this? My fears are ridiculous, and most of the time, once I think it, it’s like my brain focuses on it until I am overcome with anxiety (not to the point of a panic attack). Usually I am good at calming myself down. But it feels like a constant battle trying to focus on the good.
Here are just a few things that give me anxiety… flying on a plane, the idea of going on a cruise (being stuck on a boat in the middle of nowhere), watching anything scary (you wont find me watching horror movies or even the daily news), the thought of having kids (that is normal right…lol…but when I was younger i always wanted kids…the older I have got the more scary it has become).
I feel like I am rambling at this point. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy… lol which I know is absolutely ridiculous. I am seriously a cool chick. Sometimes I just want to be “neurotypical.”
I am just hoping there are other people out there… who understand what I am going through.