I don’t know what to do. Summers almost over. And I’m running out of days to get prepared for this school year. I need to study for an SAT that I will take on August 25-ish, and ACT i will take in spetember, i need to review Latin, I half to finish an oil painting by August that I was commissioned and will be paid to do but is taking a long time, i half to help my mom with work, and then i just found out that we have summer reading which i completely forgot existed and now I’m swimming in a flood of stuff to do and I feel like I’m drowning bc there is a part of my mind that is scremaing for me to do stuff, to get off freaking YouTube, so stop doing the very things that I know that make me get distracted, to stop lounging and to start working, to actually pick up that textbook and read it! Not to mention I like to draw lot (and occasionally write stuff) so that is a really big block bc I hyper focus on that stuff a lootttt and will not be able to focus on anything else bc my mind is constantly flooded with ideas and a desire to draw which i half to fight like heck.
But then there is another part of me that just keeps overriding me and I don’t know what to do. I see time flash by me and days have started to feel like minutes and before you know it, its gone.
So i have so much to do and there are hardly any days left of summer and for once in my life i would actually like to be prepared for school. If I’m not then everything falls into disarray and I can’t get anything done.
I was at least TRYING for a while to focus and get stuff done but for TWO WEEKS i have done NOTHING. i don’t even think ive been drawing bc ive been so out of it.
I just dont know what to do. I have no ability to control my environment to make it more suitable for my adhd either. Me and my mom are having to live with my grandmother right now so i have no space to call my own. No control. No room. I feel stuffed and like im going insane and i don’t know how long this will last. I keep looking forward to hopefully having some kind of an apartment when i go to college bc then I will finally have a space where I can control everything to help me focus better. I can set loud alarms to help me wake up without worrying whether im going to bother my mom and grandmother. the possibilites are endless. But for now im stuck and whatever control I do have seems to be at the whim of my adhd. and i still need to get my summer work done!
I just want to be productive.