I’m 36 yrs old, I have 2 children, and I’m trying to be a work-from-home dad. I’m struggling with this a bit as it took me 4 days to put together a newsletter recently, and it’s probably going to take me an hr to write this post.
Back story - I was originally tested for ADD/ADHD in the 5th grade at the request of my 5th grade teacher. Diagnosis? Borderline. I didn’t know what that mean then, and still don’t. I guess I understand that ADD is a spectrum. Looking back on everything I wish that there had been therapies put in place to help me manage my ‘borderline’ ADD.
I graduate high school without much effort, and managed to get into college. I actually made it through 6 years of college and community college, but I never did complete a degree. I changed my major 4 times, and almost a 5th time. Just for fun I’ll list those majors: Music/Business, Liberal Studies(path to teaching), Church Music/Youth Ministry, Graphic Design, and almost Marine Biology.
The Marine Biology attempt is kind of funny. I took a Calculus course and failed. There goes the marine biology idea. It’s weird, because I enjoy Math. I got an A+ in the prerequisite course. When I sought out tutoring I aced the quiz for that week. I just couldn’t connect and learn with this teacher and their lecture style of teaching. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.
I had never given my borderline ADD diagnosis much thought until recently. I’m not as successful in my work as a feel I could be. But, that’s not what made me consider ADD at first. I’ve been angry and short tempered a lot. Interruptions usually set me off, anything that breaks my flow and concentration. It’s because I know that once I’m interrupted I’ll have trouble getting started again, or at least picking up where I left of with the thought that I had at the moment of interruption is unlikely.
I’d say it was my irritability, anger, and the affect it’s having on my family and work that has made me consider ADD again. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist lined up, but that’s not happening until march. Apparently psychiatrists are in high demand right now, and we have a shortage. At least as far as my insurance is concerned.
At this moment I am fairly convinced that I fall somewhere on the spectrum of ADD/ADHD. I’m worried, however, that I won’t be diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, and that I only should have tried harder in College,i should manage my anger better, work harder to succeed with work. I also worry that I really do fall on the spectrum of ADD and that I will be misdiagnosed. I believe my initial borderline ADD diagnosis was incorrect when looking back on my history. But even if it was correct I feel i should have been treated for it, even if only with therapies that taught me how to manage the slight ADD symptoms I was experiencing.
So here I am, sitting in front of my computer digesting what I can find on adults living with ADD and trying to figure out what I can do to create mechanisms that help me manage something that I don’t completely understand. My March appointment is there, on the calendar, feeling like a day that can be extremely pivotal in my life. It could be a Diagnosis that sets me on a path to managing ADD with different therapies. I could end up with a Dr. that is highly skeptical of ADD, except in the most extreme cases, or a Doctor that is stuck in the ADD doctrine of 16 years ago.
Something tells me I better have ADD, because I’m fairly certain my kids do, and learning how to manage ADD in myself could be beneficial if my kids have it as well.
Well it’s been more than an hour typing this out. I’m just going to end it now, without rereading and editing.
Let me know if there are good ways to begin managing my own perceived symptoms while I wait for my appointment with the doc.
Thanks for your time,