Not officially Diagnosed...so don't know if I'm intruding


#1

Hi All,

I’m 36 yrs old, I have 2 children, and I’m trying to be a work-from-home dad. I’m struggling with this a bit as it took me 4 days to put together a newsletter recently, and it’s probably going to take me an hr to write this post.

Back story - I was originally tested for ADD/ADHD in the 5th grade at the request of my 5th grade teacher. Diagnosis? Borderline. I didn’t know what that mean then, and still don’t. I guess I understand that ADD is a spectrum. Looking back on everything I wish that there had been therapies put in place to help me manage my ‘borderline’ ADD.

I graduate high school without much effort, and managed to get into college. I actually made it through 6 years of college and community college, but I never did complete a degree. I changed my major 4 times, and almost a 5th time. Just for fun I’ll list those majors: Music/Business, Liberal Studies(path to teaching), Church Music/Youth Ministry, Graphic Design, and almost Marine Biology.

The Marine Biology attempt is kind of funny. I took a Calculus course and failed. There goes the marine biology idea. It’s weird, because I enjoy Math. I got an A+ in the prerequisite course. When I sought out tutoring I aced the quiz for that week. I just couldn’t connect and learn with this teacher and their lecture style of teaching. At least that’s what I’m telling myself.

I had never given my borderline ADD diagnosis much thought until recently. I’m not as successful in my work as a feel I could be. But, that’s not what made me consider ADD at first. I’ve been angry and short tempered a lot. Interruptions usually set me off, anything that breaks my flow and concentration. It’s because I know that once I’m interrupted I’ll have trouble getting started again, or at least picking up where I left of with the thought that I had at the moment of interruption is unlikely.

I’d say it was my irritability, anger, and the affect it’s having on my family and work that has made me consider ADD again. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist lined up, but that’s not happening until march. Apparently psychiatrists are in high demand right now, and we have a shortage. At least as far as my insurance is concerned.

At this moment I am fairly convinced that I fall somewhere on the spectrum of ADD/ADHD. I’m worried, however, that I won’t be diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, and that I only should have tried harder in College,i should manage my anger better, work harder to succeed with work. I also worry that I really do fall on the spectrum of ADD and that I will be misdiagnosed. I believe my initial borderline ADD diagnosis was incorrect when looking back on my history. But even if it was correct I feel i should have been treated for it, even if only with therapies that taught me how to manage the slight ADD symptoms I was experiencing.

So here I am, sitting in front of my computer digesting what I can find on adults living with ADD and trying to figure out what I can do to create mechanisms that help me manage something that I don’t completely understand. My March appointment is there, on the calendar, feeling like a day that can be extremely pivotal in my life. It could be a Diagnosis that sets me on a path to managing ADD with different therapies. I could end up with a Dr. that is highly skeptical of ADD, except in the most extreme cases, or a Doctor that is stuck in the ADD doctrine of 16 years ago.

Something tells me I better have ADD, because I’m fairly certain my kids do, and learning how to manage ADD in myself could be beneficial if my kids have it as well.

Well it’s been more than an hour typing this out. I’m just going to end it now, without rereading and editing.

Let me know if there are good ways to begin managing my own perceived symptoms while I wait for my appointment with the doc.

Thanks for your time,

Take Care.


#2

Wow world wall, yes you are ADHD…

Ok was not cool to say. I’ll leave it up, yes it was a mistake and I own it.

People with this tend to write long, emotional paragraphs.


#3

Hi @person1,

I am diagnosed with ADHD, funny enough my dad has (diagnosed) Boderline-Personality-Disorder. As far as I’ve experienced, borderline brains have trouble evaluating themselves.
I only know, it’s not the same, can be coexistential (is that a word?:thinking:) though :wink:

I wouldn’t sweat it, you seem to have the drive to go after smth. Just to be sure, or in case you have a :poop: doc, get a second opinion.

Cheers


#4

Hey there,
We’re closer to the same generation and I’ve been recently treated for ADHD for the last year, age 39. There was a lot of misinformation we grew up with. The emotional deregulation is not something you can mind over matter (though exercise really helps, but that’s another mind over matter hurdle). I’m a success story with 2 children myself, I’m on the lowest possible dose of methylphenidate, enough to kick start the sleeping executive functions brain and it was night and day.

I could process annoyances and let them go.
Also thought persistency, this was a huge quality of life up grade for me I didn’t realize I needed. There’s more but I just wanted to share a little to let you know you’re not alone and good luck with everything.


#5

These posts don’t help the community, criticising how people share, only hurts that person and how people will respond to you in the future.


#6

Definitely be mindful, in the future, of how your wording might come across. :heart:
Just because it’s hard to figure tone from text.

Also, even if it’s a joke, please avoid using “yes you are ADHD”, just to avoid someone taking it literally, because (as you know) no one can diagnose anyone here. :slight_smile:


#7

Hello Brian and welcome!

Firstly, I hope your appointment goes smoothly and you get a Doctor that works to diagnose you properly. And also know if that no matter the diagnosis, you are always welcome here. Always. Though this is geared towards people with ADHD, that doesn’t mean we shut out people that find help in our tips & tricks, or find comfort in our encouragement. You are not intruding. :heart:


#8

Greetings! :partying_face:

I hope your appointment will have the outcome you need in your life. You wrote about your struggles and they seem to be real. Also this appears to be like adhd to me but who am i to judge? In the end this is a great community and having such good souls (no pun intended) willing to help others without ever asking for anything in return sounds like an great addition to it, so i - for my part - highly welcome you here and invite you to stay as long as you please, even IF you do not get the diagnosis (again… :frowning: ). Also if you feel misdiagnosed you should consider another doctor for a second opinion. It turns out some doctors arent as experienced as they would like to be. You helped me out with your suggestions in my piano thread big time and motivated me to try to learn the right way. That alone for me is one of the great reasons to be a part of this community and you contributed to it. This doesnt even remotely sound like an intrusion, dont you think? :slight_smile:

So let me send a warm welcome to you! Welcome :muscle:t4::heart:


#9

Thanks, I don’t remember if I mentioned this in my original post, but it was my becoming aware of emotional deregulation that prompted me to explore and evaluate my past borderline ADHD diagnosis. I recognized my tendency to get upset over minor annoyances, and I knew that my reactions weren’t typical. My wife, actually, made me aware of it.

I had to do some online research, (not trying to diagnose via google), and emotional deregulation popped up as a symptom of ADHD. Seeing that caused me to remember my childhood diagnosis, and convinced me that I should explore adult ADHD with a professional and see if there are treatments/therapies that can help me with adulting. Who knows.


#10

Thanks, hope I can help with the music stuff whenever you need it.

Typing out these posts has been helpful with self evaluation, and processing some of my thoughts. Otherwise it all just sits in my head and evolves into circular thought. It seems to be therapeutic for myself, and I quite enjoy the positive responses from all of you. Anytime I bring up concerns with people around me I usually get dismissed, which doesn’t feel good. So thank you.


#11

People like us who struggle in their daily lifes because of “disorders” (i dont like to call it illness or disorder) often are misunderstood and left alone out there. At least we have an digital room full of acceptance and equality here. A place to stay among people like us and being understood, accepted and treated like actual feeling human beings. I know this can sound a bit exaggerated but there is a surprising number of people out there who are being treated like literal sh*t even tho they never did anything to them. So this forum and community makes me personally feel healing and i want to be a part of the acceptance and kindness. This is what i got from this community, so you should be able and allowed to experience this too, regardless of adhd, depression or anything else, really. You dont have to thank anyone for it, just take it as it is and stay awesome :smiley:

Thank you for your offer with the music stuff :slight_smile:


#12

Hey there! I just got here myself so I can’t speak for the community, though I’m fairly certain you aren’t intruding.

Just curious, but can you answer some questions for me?

Do you have trouble remembering and showing up to appointments?

How much do you rely on schedules and routine to get through your day?

Do your emotions feel outside of your control frequently?

What subjects did you find interesting and how would you rate yourself on them?

#notatherapist #tryingtobehelpful


#13

Just curious, but can you answer some questions for me?

-Sure-

Do you have trouble remembering and showing up to appointments?

-Depends on if I remembered to schedule the appointment in my calendar-

How much do you rely on schedules and routine to get through your day?

-i am now realizing how much I rely on routines and schedules. Getting through the day without them isn’t that big of a deal, but those days tend to not be very productive-

Do your emotions feel outside of your control frequently?

-mostly anger-

What subjects did you find interesting and how would you rate yourself on them?

-School Subjects? I hated school. I faked my way through school as much as possible. Studied for exams the night before and tested well enough to get the pass. Almost everything with school was done last minute whether it was projects, papers, studying for test etc. -

It’s been more than a month since I checked in on this forum, and i’m having trouble having the same enthusiasm for writing and responding at the moment. My apologies if my reply comes across as short. Just don’t know what else to add to the conversation. What do you think?


#14

It sounds to me like you’re beyond “borderline”. I’d say you are smack in the middle of ADHD, but I’m no professional.

I faked my way through school, until I couldn’t any more and fell flat on my face.

I definitely faked it through university, but then didn’t graduate.

I’ve pretty much been faking it ever since then.

My best work has always been last minute.

Write if you’re in the mood, don’t if you’re not. I wouldn’t stress about it. The forums are here for whenever you need them, and even if you don’t.


#15

That sounds about right.

still waiting on my initial appointment. March 6 is the magic date. How many repeat appointments are generally needed before a diagnosis is reached? if each appointment is going to be 3 months until the next then it’s going to be a long year. I may be wrong, but if a health care system wants to be truly preventative you would think that mental health would be up there in terms of priorities.


#16

First… know that there is no intrusion. I am also not diagnosed yet, but if you read my intro post (it’s somewhere in the intro section), you’ll read that my son’s life with severe ADHD leads me to believe that’s what’s “wrong” with me, as well. I am also making an appointment.

Second, a bullet journal (the simple kind, not the pretty kind) is helping me. If EVERYTHING is in ONE notebook, I won’t forget the notebook I need. :slight_smile: I also use an app for lists, etc.

I just got a call, but I have more to say… hopefully I remember to come back and write more. :slight_smile:


#17

Personally, I saw many different professionals, of all kinds over a 49 year period. On a number of ocassions I asked if they could assist me to find out what was going on. Not once was ADHD even mentioned.

But as soon as I discovered ADHD and realised that I ticked all the boxes, I made the first appointment I could get, for a month away.

The Doctor had a quick conversation with me, which cost $450, and was quite happy to tell me what I already knew. I walked out with a prescription. The all-important letter for my employer (to let them know I was officially on meds, rather than just buying meth off a dealer) took another 3 weeks, and cost me $25. In the meantime waiting for it, I had to give up two job offers, as I would have tested positive for a controlled substance at my pre-employment medical, without any proof of my diagnosis.

My experience with diagnosis is that if you tell them what you have, they will just agree, and give the paperwork a “tick and flick”.

But if you ask them what you have, you’ll never get anywhere.

I am a little skeptical of the professionals, and am convinced that the high number of undiagnosed ADHDers can be laid squarely at the feet of the diagnostic process (of which I have actually never seen any evidence, in my case at least).

My advice: Tell them that you have ADHD. Don’t wait for them to find it for you, they won’t. Before you go in, go through the list of symptoms again, just in case you have to “fake” them, regardless of how real your ADHD is.

Many professionals seem to believe that ADHD is a fake disorder anyway, and have turned people away. Some of the stories on these forums blow me away, and give me little faith in many of the professionals out there.

Not trying to be pessimistic, but I’ve heard too many times of people being told such rubbish as “there’s no such thing as ADHD” or other such guff. Many people’s parents seem to have the same idea.

Bear in mind also that the meds may be a controlled substance, so on top of the doctor’s diagnosis, there may be government hurdles in the way of getting the prescription as well.

My own experience was that I had no such problems, once I’d diagnosed myself. I got the official diagnosis easily, and was on the meds that afternoon. But be aware that some people have had problems.

Repeat appointments: I only needed the one. I was told to see my GP after six months for a repeat prescription, then after another six months, back to the psych.