Paralyzed with Self Doubt

Good morning, lovely people! I’ve been lurking on this forum for a while now, but every time I think I’ve got something to contribute, I’m flooded with self doubt and decide not to. My mind screams all kinds of mean things to me. “No one wants to hear what you have to say,” it tells me. “You’re better off just keeping your mouth shut.” And so it goes on any public-posting-website (and many in-person interactions, too, but I just have less time to change my mind through verbal communication.) I just feel stupid, like what I have to say is probably not important or helpful, or at least not anything new that someone else hasn’t already figured out. I know the awesome community on this forum would probably have the decency to not point out if I’ve said such a thing, but I guess I just never figured out how to climb that Wall.

Can anyone else relate? How do you overcome it?

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It’s important to tell yourself regularly that your thoughts, feelings, opinions, and needs are valid. Sometimes a way to practice getting over the self doubt is to start by replying to posts here, even by just saying “I can relate.” You can also talk about your experience and what has worked for you. Then, as you feel more comfortable and engaged, maybe you’ll feel more comfortable asking questions or asking for help when needed.

It’s easy to get locked in by self doubt, self loathing, anxiety, and fear. I think you’ve probably noticed that people are supportive here and even if you ask something that has been asked before or say something that one person might not find useful, you’ll still get a positive response and people will appreciate you being engaged.

It can be a hard thing, but we have to practice believing that our needs and our thoughts are valid. I have a therapist who reminds me of that frequently, because I discount myself a lot as well. Whatever you decide to do, I encourage you to speak up and take risks here. Practice makes things easier, and engagement helps in your recovery. :slight_smile: Glad you posted!

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Hi,

I can relate to feeling that way and I also only started posting on here recently. It was scary at first because I didn’t know how what I said would be received but people on here are so warm and kind.
Someone recently told me that the negative voices in our heads are trying to protect us from what we fear (usually rejection) but that they can’t predict what going to happen and we don’t have to listen to them. They are only right when we listen to them.
Everybody is different and although people here do share some similar experiences and challenges we are all unique and have different strategies and tools. The more brains joining in the conversation, the better.

I think you have already contributed by posting this. I didn’t know that anybody else felt so insecure about posting on here and now I feel a little less alone. That’s really what this forum is about :smile:

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I think doing or saying something stupid is a universal. I know some extremely smart people who do or have done both. Sort of part of the human condition, EVERYONE does it. Therefore relax a little and allow yourself to express yourself, including any fragments of ‘stupid’. You might find that people are far more forgiving that you imagine and that you are also far smarter than you think.

I showed up at work today on my day off. That was my fragment of stupid that I contributed today.

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