Parenting with ADHD?

Hey there Tribe Members!
So, I posted earlier that once I recently learned I had ADHD since I was a young one, taking the meds gave me a whole new experience with my daughter.
I’m still attempting to manifest
Love FatherloveADHD
instead of
Control Control%20Freak%20ADHD

I still find that I can be really impatient with her, my lack of interest in “Story-Play” compels me to “Reschedule” time with her that many times is never “Rescheduled”.

My daughter has been diagnosed with Dysgraphia, but even with that knowledge I would tell her to PRACTICE tying her shoes and would roll my eyes at her handwriting and spelling! I can see NOW how I easily hurt her without even realizing it. I am learning to let her wear flip-flops and Velcro Sandals.
I have a hard time believing she could be like me and having a Learning Difference.

I know I am a work-in-progress and I’m really not posting to get help. (Though I am not adverse to gaining insight and wisdom.)

I’m just curious to know how other parents with ADHD do, with neurotypical kids or even with fellow Brains.
Any Dynamic Duo ADHD parents? Or One Brain and One Heart?.

I think you can see where I am going with this.:smiley:

Thanks for any feedback!

Joe

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You are a human being. You are not your diagnosis.

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Thanks @Pizzatom52 !

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Your post resonated w/ me. I am continually finding that balance. I have a tendency to hyperfocus and/or struggle to shift focus while spending time doing activities w/ the kids. Awareness and mindfulness has helped me reach a healthy balance.

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I think I need to get back meditating or rather contemplative prayer. It helped a lot when I was more consistent. Like so many things it faded away and so did the benefits.

I’m an ADHD parent with two ADHD kids. I find myself snapping at them for the very things I do or have done. I have learned how to take a step back and try to pump my bicycle brakes before hurting their feelings, but it’s so hard! Luckily, we talk a lot about being brains and how difficult it is for all of us to manage it. I think even though I worry a lot about damaging them, I think it’s kind of cool that we have this understanding and bond because we get it when the other one is having a hard day. Teach her about her brain AND yours.

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I was at a Retreat in Alabama recently. One of the exercises we did was the Trauma Egg.
We get a piece of posterboard and a marker and are told to go outside in a secluded site and draw a big egg the size of the poster. Then we have to go back in our memory as far back as we can and remember and maybe re-live the little t’s as well as the BIG T’s. We are to draw a little egg and a little picture of every small Trauma experience we can remember, just enough to remember it when we are to share it with the group later.

Small traumas are mostly harsh words, degrading identifiers like “You have holes in your brain!”, and other nasty things that all of us have probably had to listen to growing up. Then the BIG EGGs for the BIG TRAUMA experiences that we can remember.

It was cool to see a pattern and a big reason for my struggle with self confidence and shame.

The reason I am sharing this is because I also noticed a direct connection with the little t’s I inflicted on my daughter!

When I came home I was a MESS (in a REALLY good way). I became highly aware of my “mindless” or “automatic” behavior and its potential for damage. I have the power to drive my daughter into unhealthy “self-protective” isolation with just my words. If I am not mindful, I won’t even notice. I will think everything is fine and wonder why she goes into her room when she is upset and comes out like nothing is wrong.

My lack of mindful consideration of what I say, how I say it AND what emotional state I am in when I say it will reach all the the way to my grandkids through her if the little T’s are not mitigated and Big T’s are avoided all together.

Slowing down and thinking about what comes out of my mouth and remembering to put everything through the filter of Love will,I believe, allow my daughter to have a lot more moments of Joy in her life.

I also believe that there may have been times and may be times in the future when I will be unable to prevent myself or others from causing the Little T’s or Big T’s in my children’s lives, but I can certainly work to create healing memories of Love and Joy to overshadow and even avoid ANY T she experiences.

I am still convinced that Love is the most powerful force in the universe and it’s healing powers have no rival. It overpowers a multitude of maladies.

Just now getting reacquainted with ADHD and I am a dad of one son with another on the way. My wife and I are dynamic duo, I am a brain and she is one big heart. son too young to know yet. I’m with you, and learning. Getting back on meds of some kind hopefully next week. I’m glad to hear it has already helped some with your daughter. Keep getting better. You don’t need to be a perfect parent. The mere fact that you recognize that the things you do/say matter says you are an above average parent already! Let’s both keep growing!