People hate me...i hate me....to much of a coward to even end it all

ADHD getting worse
Anger getting worse
Anxiety getting worse
People hate me
I hate me
Family tolerate me and lie to me
So much of a failure i cannot even kill myself which makes me hate myself more

I’ve felt that way. You’re not alone. I don’t hate you. Try taking a few deep breaths, drink a glass of water no gulping sip drink another one. Eat something preferably protein - eggs hot dog burger whatever give yourself a hug and if you’re tired lie down for a bit. Self hatred hits me when I’ve pushed myself too hard ie missed taking breaks, got dehydrated, got hungry but didn’t notice , tackled too big a task all at once etc. good luck :slight_smile:

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Just want to be normal
Had a huge rage episode now next morning I’m exhausted and depressed
Head all over the place
I am so done with trying and trying to get nowhere each time

Have you seen a psychiatrist? I’m not saying it is magic, but ADHD and Major Depressive Disorder are comorbid and medicine can help. I would be feeling the same way as you if it wasn’t for the antidepressant I’m on. And it doesn’t counteract the ADHD medicine or my cause me other problems. Depression makes you tired. It is hard to find energy when you don’t even want to live. I can tell you that is certainly easier to concentrate on the task at hand when am not dwelling on the fact that I suck. I have plenty to be frustrated about, but the fact is that the same chemistry that is responsible for our inability to concentrate is also the chemistry that doesn’t keep us happy enough. Trust me. Doctors are not the enemy, and if you tell them the whole truth, they will try to help you. But you also have to be patient with the doctor. Medicine takes time to work, and if it doesn’t, don’t give up. Sometimes that is not the right one for you, but the doctor will certainly be willing to try another. Believe me, there are bumps in the road. When I was honest with my doctor, he threw me in the hospital for the night so he could be sure that I wouldn’t hurt myself and could monitor me while he made a drastic change to my medicine. But I felt better afterward. I say all this with the caveat that this is my experience, but it is a demonstration that the same thing might happen for you if you take the right steps.

Good luck.
H

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On top of what has been said on here, are you also seeing a therapist? Therapists can help too if you can find one you really click with…

If things get really bad we have a list of hotlines and other resources for different countries (so hopefully whatever country you’re in is listed :heart:) that we’re adding to as the information comes in from other members: Helpline Numbers: Do you know any? Post them here!

:heart: I’m so sorry it’s so tough right now - I’ve been there, and it’s so hard to keep above the surface. It’s exhausting. But we are here for you, we are here to listen to you vent, we are here to listen to your struggles, we’re here for everything, good and bad.

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I’ve been very depressed in the past. A couple of years ago I got into such a rage that I kicked something and broke my big toe in three places. I’ve certainly had my lows.

I’m doing well now. I still get a bit down from time to time and my anger certainly is not perfect. Much of what has changed me is my change in perspective.

As others have said, please take care of yourself and don’t be afraid to seek help. I had a therapist who helped me through my rough times. I recommend seeking help.

Joel

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I have been seeing a psychologist for a few months, initially for cbt as i knew “something” was not right and getting worse.

Started to help but i have then declined massively feeling more and more angry, trapped and worse

This was basically my hail mary that it would sort.me out as of now i cannot see anything positive at all ahead of now

I am a burden on everyone, parents always want me to talk to them which yes is good…except they are dealing with a lot as my stepsister could die anytime now, she is 6 months younger than me so i cant even start to help them understand or weigh them down with my issues.

Nobody understands any of it…i think i am just a lazy messed up scum of the earth waste of oxygen

Nothing to offer anyone

Then come tomorrow its brave face at work, as if all is ok etc etc so nobody really has a clue how bad it is…

I can be ok (ish) for a bit then bang! I am not ok…then quick i have to pretend to be ok…then argh i feel like i am.going to explode

Would not wish it on my worst enemy

Starting to genuinely believe i deserve it

No one deserves this. That includes you.
Talk with your parents, even if they may not understand fully, will give them some insight… and hopefully they can find ways to get you help in terms of medical officials.

Is there anything in particular that happens that makes you suddenly be not ok? That’s common in ADHDers and we are always here for you.

Do you have any official diagnosis and meds? Just so I know where you are in your adhd history. <3

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Sorry to read you’re having such a tough time. But things will get better. I don’t know you but I’m sure people don’t hate you, it can easily feel like that when you’re feeling low but it’s rarely completely true no matter how much it feels like it…
And also, remember that even if you’re struggling with connecting with people in your life right now, the world is full of new people who might see your best sides, and maybe even find some parts of you that you haven’t even found yourself yet, and that you might end up really loving about yourself!

I have depression from time to time, and I learnt this technique recently at therapy, maybe it could help you (again, I don’t know you so I can’t promise if it will help, but it’s been very very helpful for me so who knows, worth a try :slight_smile: )
Instead of focusing on your internal world, you can calm yourself down by shifting your focus more to the external world. It’s easy to get lost inside your head and get into never-ending spirals of anxiety, but even if you feel like your life is crumbling into pieces, the external world is still there, still and calm and and not reacting to what’s going on in your head…

So, find 7 things that you can touch. Focus on the sensation the different textures bring, close your eyes and just feel. You could touch a wall, a pillow, a tea cup, literally anything you see… All those little everyday things feel different but we rarely notice those everyday sensations as we’re so lost in our heads!!
Pick your favourite out of them. Why is it your favourite? Why do you like it?
Then do the same thing with finding different sounds. Different smells. Different colours and textures you see.
And always pick your favourite.

It can seem like a silly thing to do, but honestly, try it! :slight_smile: It’s surprising how calming it can be to just find those tiny little things that might feel enjoyable even at your lowest moment… And it just takes your mind off things too. And reminds how much there is to experience in the world, even if you never leave your bedroom you can still experience all these different sensations!

This might help you in the short term to calm down and get through the day!! And mindfulness in general, just being aware of what’s going on around you rather than thinking too much about what’s going on inside your head.

A therapist can help you to get better in the long term… Maybe you could see if it would be possible to switch to a different psychologist if you haven’t felt any improvements when seeing your current one?

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They already have so much stuff on their plate especially with step sister so i cannot add to it

They also no fault of their own do not understand my moods, my head, triggers etc i am still learning it too

I got an official diagnosis a few months ago, therapist has been trying to teach me stuff which started ok then now rapidly downhill again

I have a suspicion there is more wrong with me but dont know what

Been given no meds, all she has said is meds is something to think about

Are you thinking of going the medication route?
You can also talk to your Doctor about how it feels like there might be something else going on beyond ADHD, just be sure to be clear on what you feel isn’t ADHD related.

I’m so so so sorry you’re going through this rough time, and I know what it’s like to feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. All I can say is that there is generally always a light at the end… but it’s also fairly normal to feel like it isn’t there… just know that you aren’t alone. Learning how to cope and live with ADHD is a process… and there are times when it feels awful and discouraging… many of us have gone through it before, or we’re going through it now. And we are here to help you through yours. :heart: And if you have something specific you’re struggling with (focusing at work… trying to regulate emotions… whatever the case may be) we can try and help you find a way to cope.

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Steve, I have a question…something to mention to your doctor if the answer is yes. Do you ever have moments when you are really good or feel extreme energy? Or do your lows come and go in regular cycles? Look back at the calendar and see if you can track the times when you felt the lowest. You might have a different kind of depression that needs certain medication, and that would make a difference if you decided to give medication a try.

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I can be very low, depressed etc then something small/insignificant happens and i am all energetic / happier etc then can be mins or hours later or a day or so then im tight back down again

Whilst happier i almost then convince myself there is nothing wrong with me etc

It may not be the something else that is wrong that you are feeling, but I really urge you to consider medication. Calming the ups and downs would really help you to have more focus to work on the symptoms of ADHD that cause us to be down on ourselves. Finding ways to help you be more successful in what you are currently doing will give you opportunities for the success that you need to feel worth something. And please keep telling us how you feel, because I, for one, feel like I found a home where people actually understand me. I really do get what you mean when you feel like you fail at everything. But you have to help yourself, because I’m not in the same house to play secretary and make your appointment and drive you to it. :wink: We’ll be here to hear how it went, though.

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I have an appointment tomorrow with my psychologist so maybe i can try get a referral to a psychiatrist to try and sort some medication of some sort

Cheers for the help

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I hope it all gets sorted out! :heart:

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Just wanted to say, I sympathize! It sucks to be in that place, man! I hope you and your doctor (and other professionals, etc.) can sort it out eventually. Keep on keepin’ on, man! :slight_smile:

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Thank you

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