Recently Diagnosed w/ Little Breakdowns

I am new here. Just joined now actually and I’m getting started with some heavy stuff, so this may be long, but I’m crashing in so many ways and need an extra set of wings or paddles or wheels, so here goes.

How to start…
I’m 33, was diagnosed a couple weeks ago with moderate ADHD, depression, and anxiety. I also have many other chronic health conditions which cause pain and fatigue. Although this diagnosis isn’t a surprise and is helping me identify hurdles to work on, it is not helping with the issues of right now. College, lack of support, emotional lows, crying over the smallest speed bump, so tired yet excited, exhaustion (physical and mental), and more.

So why am I posting this in the support thread?
I’m freaking out, is the simple answer, and I have no one to turn to. My therapist is booked up and by the time I’d see her I’d forget the issue and wouldn’t need the session. I can’t talk to my husband because a) he also has ADHD and b) discussing my college struggles infuriates him ( he hates the university and bringing up any issues with it sets him in an anger spiral which just makes it worse for me). This leads me with trying to deal with it myself, but I struggle with maintaining the practice of meditation and trying to rationalize my way out of it.

What exactly is setting me off?
Everything, today it was discovering a new part of class that I wasn’t expecting which requires a lot more work, which I also am not prepared for. Yesterday it was having to withdrawal from General Chemistry Lab because the professor refuses to accommodate my need to be fully remote. The day before that was rushing around, on a very strict deadline, to withdrawal and add classes and wait in the heat for what shouldn’t have been an hour for a text book. Across all these days it is how far behind I am in my new classes, dealing with the speed bumps of communicating with everyone while obsessing over everything.

It has been 10 years since I got my first degree. I know I can do this, just not established yet. I’ve made a lot of progress in the last year, but coping with these emotions is new for me. For the past 20 years or so I turned off these emotions, so I could function, now I am facing them, but can’t express my frustrations and little speed bumps to my husband who I bounce everything off of. It is depressing me and dragging me down.

Thank you for reading this lengthy post and for any support or advice. There is so much more going on, but like I said, these are the little breakdowns.

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Welcome!

Certainly there is a lot going on in your life! Finding us here I think should provide support, suggestions, and hopefully some answers. Life is a day-to-day challenge. Some days easier than others. I have learned that what seems unbearable today can become manageable tomorrow. And then there are things that just go away!

btw: What are studying in college?

You will be hearing from other “brains” here . . . So stay tuned! :tv:

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Hello Brooklyn :slight_smile:

My first degree was in Digital Media. After my diagnosis I gained confidence in my abilities and my new degree is in Neuroscience. It is a bit overwhelming because up until last week I thought I was dumb when it came to math and science and there is no way I could learn it let alone have a career in a STEM field. Now I realize the reason I did poorly before was my unknown ADHD struggles. Now that I am aware, I am giving this a try and giving myself permission to not do well if that is how it goes.

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Great . . .

What are some career options with a degree in neuroscience?
What would you like to do with it?

No rush . . .

Thanks!

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My original plan, before switching to Neuroscience was to do Intelligence Analysis, but that is now a fallback plan. Im still interested in it and it’s in my natural skill set, but I’m rather interested in the galaxy within the brain. I am not sure the exact thing I want, but I want to do research in the Neuroscience field. I have some time as I take courses and think about topics to narrow it down.

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Sounds exciting. The :earth_americas:needs more, capable and dedicated scientists . . . free of political influence, whatever their political preferences may be!

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I agree. This semester is a huge test of my aptitude and enlisting practices. I’m hopeful to start on a medication in a couple weeks and see how that goes. This weekend I am relearning Chemistry and algebra, lol.

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Chemistry and math! When I first started in college I wanted to be a chemistry major. While I did not attribute it to my ADHD at the time (Not diagnosed until 35 years later) I had a great deal of difficulty memorizing anything. And my lab instructor, who was a PhD student, insisted that we memorize analytical chem. “flow-charts”! And we were quizzed on them. I argued with her saying that if I became a chemist then I would certainly by then have all of these flow charts in my memory. Basically she was rigid and non-sympathetic, saying: “When I was an undergrad I had to memorize them and now so do you!” So I got a “D” in my 2nd term of chem. and became a Sociology major . . . which I enjoyed and subsequently went on for a masters in social work (MSW). Spent my entire professional career working with adults having serious and chronic mental illnesses. And it was in Graduate School where I met my future wife (47 years now).

And as far as math is concerned, I took the one required course I needed. And why I chose to take calculus is still a mystery to me. The Professor, out of kindness, gave me a final passing grade of “C” which I considered quite generous. More than once when looking at how I worked up a problem he would say: “very creative Barry, I’ve never quite seen that method of solving the problem before!’’ So, I think the grade “C” . . . was for creativity.

well time for me to stop. Talk to you later!

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That is an issue I have with Precalculus. The faster process I naturally do, but the professor is teaching the long way, which adds more steps which confuses me and then I forget the order and so on.

I’m dropping General Chemistry. The university is doing nothing but punishing me for joining late and hasn’t been helping me learn in the way I need. Next semester, I’ll have to take an Intro. to chemistry course, but at least I’ll be able to focus on really learning the precalc. I’m burnt out and everything for Gen. Chem. Is due tomorrow. Several assignments are already late and have lost me points, which she won’t accommodate for my limitations and joining late. There was a prerequisite online program to have done the week before last week, which I just found out about yesterday and got access to today and yeah. If I continue down this path, I’ll be right where I was with my first degree and cheating myself and further negative about myself.

Regarding your professor. I hate when teachers teach in a difficult way for the sake of it. I guess they don’t realize the impact or maybe they don’t care? :woman_shrugging: I went a similar route with college, before as you did. That was kind of your calc. Professor to help you out ajd understand. Our brains see and process the world differently.

Time for a rest, then History reading. :sleeping:

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And then within the “typical” ADHD brain, style of processing . . . we are each individually unique! :woman:t2::bearded_person:t3::older_adult:t5::older_man:t2::adult:t6:‍🦲:man_with_turban:t3:‍♂:woman_with_headscarf:t2::woman_farmer:t3::adult:t5:‍:fire_engine::man_singer:t3::man_teacher:t4::male_detective:t2:‍♂:woman_health_worker:t3: . . . (etc.)

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