I’ve been going through quite a lot. I had a “long distance relationship” that was never really official or really defined. I went and saw her back in February only to find out that she lost interest in January and never gave me a “proper” goodbye/breakup. After spending 10 days with her, and having the entire trip just feel off. She gave me around a minute to tell me she felt everything was complicated and she lost interest during the goodbye at the airport. I had that feeling that we would be breaking it off but we only had a minute to say our feelings and it didn’t feel like we had enough time.
I got back home and wrote her a long message describing my thoughts on the situation. She responded that she would get back to me the next day and I told her to take her time.
Fast forward a month, and I got tried of waiting. I wanna piece together… the reasons.
Rejection without reason/feedback… is one of the worst feelings we go through. It’s why I feel I’m horrible at dating or relationships. This graphic just describes me currently to this day.
I finally got a message yesterday and she told me she thought she was clear with the breakup and I just felt…
Treated like I don’t matter.
It’s a privilege to give me her time.
I gave her space and didn’t bother her so much because she really pushed the fact that her time was needed for school or other important activities. There was a 9 hour time difference. There was a language issue (English is her second language)
It finally hit me last night/this morning that I deserve so much more and better than what she was giving me. I was allowing her situation and LDR difficulties to be ignored instead of addressing the problems. I also feel like she needs to date someone in her native language too because she just didn’t have much emotion in trying to talk to me. It felt like a chore. It didn’t feel natural for her.
What I take away from this is that she just wasn’t ready for a LDR and that we aren’t compatible at this stages of our lives. She didn’t give me her time. I have personally felt like she found someone local to her area, speaking her language and anything relationship/dating wise felt natural and right for her. I personally don’t blame her that much too if she wanted someone else, she never dated much before me. She did need to tell me though… and that’s what I’m struggling with. I never felt like I got an answer or closure.
Now I’m back to trying to date again in the SF Bay Area… an area where dating and finding someone is a massive struggle for a guy. Online dating or finding someone is just… very difficult for a guy like me because we are a dime in a dozen. I’m still very socially awkward. I don’t do well in bars or typical social situations because of my hearing issues.
I’m also sorry if I’ve been very absent here on the forums. This has been extremely difficult for me, not the worst relationship situation I’ve been in, but very different. I’ve been working hard at my job and I did get promoted last week so at least I got my career going