Soon to be economist, may have ADHD undiagnosed, impostor syndrome?

Intros
#1

Hello mates.

I’m brazilian, 26yo, soon to be economist, if I can overcome my struggles. I work with finances but am also an aspiring musician. I cultivate mushrooms and have 3 cats.

For years I seek treatment for anxiety and depression, but this year I curiously talked with my new nutritionist and she asked all those “general life and daily routine questions”, and with my answers she asked if I was diagnosed with ADHD. Because it totally sounded like it was the case for her.

I started searching and it really matched my symptoms… Mainly the inability to focus on stuff. And I always had this feeling that everything I did was never enough, that I was lazy and irresponsible, that I didn’t deserve anything I accomplished. Because I always wanted to do more but I kept procrastinating and “being useless” for years and years.

So I’m investigating this possibility. One issue I have is that I barely remember anything from my childhood, I just remember I always had a hard time talking to people. I remember which schools I went to and all. But I don’t remember specifics you know? I don’t remember birthdays or travels or anything like that. Which I don’t know if it’s normal or weird… Anyways.

I hope you all have a great week. Peace.

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#2

hi
i can’t remember much from school but then i can’t temember much from yesterday either :joy:

in my adhd assessment the fact that i couldn’t remember school very well was used as evidence of adhd symptoms, so it must be fairly common :+1:t3:

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#3

I just got out of high school (almost a year ago, actually) and have pretty much no idea what life looked like in elementary/middle school with the exception of the very memorable dumb stuff I did. Must be an ADHD memory thing. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

#4

I still have most of the memories of my youth, they are all fuzzy/blurry with the exception of a few key moments that I can still picture clearly.

What I can recall well is my general “life story”. I can trace my memories of my life from time to time, and place to place, from age 4-1/2 to now (age 46 at the time of this post). I don’t recall details very well, like what colors or style of clothing someone was wearing in a memory, or word for word what was said. I remember places, I remember events, I can often remember what I was feeling emotionally at the time. As a matter of fact, I know that moments in which I had a stronger emotions (particularly strong positive emotions) are more likely to be stronger, clearer memories.

I’m an Inattentive Brain, and I had a predominantly good childhood. I have been pretty healthy most of my life (besides multiple respiratory and ear infections from birth until 4 years old, so I don’t remember them).

For those of you who cannot remember your childhood very well:

  • What ADHD presentation do you have?
  • Did you have a good or bad childhood?
  • What was your health like in your youth?
  • Were you on ADHD medication, or any other psychoactive medication (e.g. antidepressants)?

Update 11/4/21
(Answering the above questions in the forum is optional. I posted them only because I’m curious about whether issues with childhood memory may be due to a common factor. I’ve seen posts by at least a few people who said that they don’t really remember their childhood. I remember mine fairly well, though not in great detail.)

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#5
  • I have the combined presentation.
  • It was… not the best. There were definitely good parts, but most of what I remember is drifting away from a friend, my other friend moving away, getting in trouble for being too rowdy, having regular meltdowns due to school (mostly over complicated math), trying and failing to fit in, and being depressed and anxious. It was rough. Not as bad as it could have been, but rough.
  • I did have depression, general and social anxiety, and at least three different phobias. All of which went undiagnosed until I was in 12th grade. This is also when some difficulties with joint pain popped up, and then went away for a while, but now it’s back and we’re trying to fix it.
  • I was never on any psychiatric medications. Partly because I loathe taking medicine to begin with.
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