I need to vent this here. I’ve had the diagnosis for just 3 years now. I thought my family (of birth) were ok with it. Turns out not, entirely. Seems it’s something I need to be discreet about with my family, and certainly with my uncle and cousins. I mean, it’s not that I need to shout it from the rooftops, or even talk about it much at all, but if I need to essentially keep it a secret, it doesn’t feel right to me. I mean this is my family, not some random set of people.
I asked about it later privately from my sister and my father. My sister said she couldn’t see why it would be ADHD that I have, because I’m not at all like someone she knows who has severe ADHD. She asked me how I thought that ADHD affected my life. I told her, but it didn’t seem to be credible to her. She asked why I was making it be this big dramatic thing. She said she had started getting symtoms of menopause and she didn’t feel the need to talk about any of that. So why should I need to make this into some big thing and push the subject. I said because it feels really bad feeling like I’m not being heard or understood by my immediate family.
My father then joined in with a comment about me making my symptoms worse by reading up on the condition. He said I was over dramatising when in fact other people really aren’t interested in the innermost workings of my mind. I asked him to please stop and not go further, because that was just not going to be helpful.
The whole conversation ended in mid air. They left thinking I was being defensive and overly dramatic and self centered. And yes I was defensive.
It really is hard every time you realise you can’t just be openly you with your family. I don’t want my ADHD to be this great big thing, but I do need to have people with whom it can just very simply be a part of me, just like it actually is. I don’t need to draw attention to it. I just want not to have to actively hide it with the people closest to me.