The "I dont belive in ADHD Talk"


I can relate. I tried to tell my middle sister first, even before I was diagnosed, because I’m closest with her. And it explained what was up with me, my Mum, my Aunt, my grandmother to a tee.

My sister yelled at me that She couldn’t understand why I would want something to be wrong with me and I needed to stop.

Anyway, I’ve come to realize that because my brain works differently, and because at times I can solve other people’s struggles in the blink of an eye - my sister actually values the way I am and Therefore, cannot accept the label that something is “wrong” with me.

I believe it is out of love that your brother is rejecting the label. For you it comes across if a lack of understanding from your brother. However, if you can try to see it as coming from his love for you it will make you less defensive towards him. If you can see a brother, who loves his brother so much that he is unwilling to hear and accept that anyone says he’s “broken” and not your brother who is rejecting part of you, then I believe he will come around.


I would like to preface my response by stating, I intend no insult, attempt to cast no aspersions, and impose no judgement. However, in some instances, the absence of truth is apparent when we follow a hypothesis to its conclusion.

Following your brother’s logic looks like this:

ADHD is a matter of anatomy/physiology NOT psychology. To deny the existence of a proven, quantifiable, documented entity is to embrace folly. Ergo, it is he who ought be offended; for, the world has cast him a fool and, of the simple, he has made himself king.


This is interesting because the thing that’s ‘wrong’ with you may just be the thing she values so much. We’re great problem solvers, we brains - when they’re not our problems. What’s wrong is the whole notion of ‘wrong’ and ‘right’. It just doesn’t apply here.


Yes exactly. That’s why she’s not going to take that someone she doesn’t even know has declared something is wrong with her beloved sister.

What I’m trying to see is that her response is as much out of love as my mother’s response that they will love me no matter what and want me to be happy. If I can hold that then I can be less defensive towards her and there will be opportunities to point it out to her rather than us each get stuck in our corners.


If Lane is right, you could try sharing a How To ADHD (or other resource) with your brother- one that explains the difference between ‘broken’ and ‘different’. And, talk to him about the upsides of ADHD too- like creativity or empathy. Maybe that will help him understand. I wish you good luck. Also hugs.
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Here’s the funny thing for me. My brother is an occupational therapist. So his job is to help people with problems. If him and his wife both are in that profession, then they are the last people that should throw shade on someone because they admit that they are getting help for mental health. They said not to me, but through someone else that they are horrified that I came out with ADHD. And how their relatives are ashamed that I admitted that. I don’t even know who these people are.


That sounds frustrating :(.


Having a professional doesn’t mean you are good at all aspects of it.

Your frustration when those comments comes up is reasonable. But carrying that frustration with you after your brother is not in front of you doesn’t seem particularly useful. I have found meditation very useful for letting go of those moments once they have passed… to an extent anyway. :stuck_out_tongue:

I would ask them to explain the MRI scans, the next time it comes up. I would actually keep a list of studies and articles, and rub their faces in them (not literally) until they explained why that contradictory evidence isn’t contradictory. And then, when they can’t, I would say to them, “Why is it so important to you that ADHD doesn’t exist, that you would deny evidence like this and the lived experience of your own brother? Why is it Impossible for you to be creative enough to imagine how my experience would be different from yours if it is true?”

And if that didn’t stop that B.S., maybe just deny something he has experienced to an unreasonable extent using the same arguments.


Has anybody encountered what to me seems like a trend, redefining adhd, and related difficulies, as difficulies with regulation? And narrowing that down again as an issue of attatchment? I find it really worrying. It is inefficient when it comes to helping the child. And implying the cause is relational. And guess who is to blame if the intervention does not work.


I kind of get what you’re saying here, because when my son started having issues in school my first thought was ADHD. Because he has all the same behaviors I did. But the evaluators and teachers and speech/Occupational therapists have all limited it to “sensory” and “regulation” issues. Now, both of those are issues that ADHD kids have. But, as it happens, not everyone who has those issues has ADHD. In my son’s case, we started from a place of working on the very specific issues we could identify now. In the future, that may expand in scope to become an ADHD diagnosis, but I think people are very wary of misdiagnosing it, especially in young kids. It IS overdiagnosed in kids right now, which only exacerbates the issue of making it seem like a made-up condition. Every kid with only Sensory Processing Disorder or some situational hyperactivity who is instead diagnosed as ADHD makes it more difficult for the ACTUAL ADHD kids to be taken seriously.


Yes. I think that at least makes sense, if they are adressing spesific, identified problems. As learning disabilities. But sometimes they just focus on the childs reactions, adressing emotions are somehow more profound in some peoples mind
then the child will not get help with the issues that cause frustration. Like adhd. Or even dyslexia. Unbelievable but sad fact…
Sorry about my English. No learning disability, but foreign Adhd :grin:


I think people still have a knee jerk reaction about mental health and would rather do “sensory” and “regulation” issues first.

Even though us shiny people (ADHDers) are awesome.


Burn him at the stake!:expressionless: I don’t really mean that but I can’t… even… begin to describe how angery that makes me and how Idiotic, Uninformed , insensitive, and egotistical that statement is! Adhd doesn’t exist!:triumph: I suppose if he became depressed it doesn’t exist because it’s all in his head. Just because he doesn’t experience it or see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist! I could rant for days on this.


Agee. Adhd is soooo medical😖


Agree, that is