The world is quiet... FINALLY! But is it really?

medication
#1

So, I was diagnosed like 3 weeks ago, and finally had my meds appt today. I was put on 10mg 2x daily of Adderall. I took my first dose today and I cannot beleive how quiet my brain could be. I was able to sit through a meeting without interupting people, sit down and start a project, and even open facebook and close it after I sent my message, without obsessively scrolling through with no end (hello hyperfocus!).

Is this what it feels like for your executive functioning to actually work?? LOL

But I do still feel a bit of heart speed (but nothing compared to my anxiety, so its like barely noticeable to someone already on edge 24/7). But my legs and fingers aren’t twitching. It’s weird.

But on a serious note, has anyone ever gotten on meds, felt SO much better, and still doubt everything? like, think its the placebo effect or that you are still faking? I know conciously that there is a difference, but there is that voice in the back of my mind that wants to still tell me that I’m faking and now have drugged myself, or that its only working because I beleive it’s working.

Anyone else have that feels?

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#2

First off, Welcome to the Tribe, Christine!

I can’t say for sure about the meds, as I am still in the process of getting to the right dose myself.

What I can say is that there was a time where I accidentally self-medicated and reached that place of absolute controlled silence. I wasn’t sure what had happened and was very sad when things returned to normal. If I ever reach that place again, you can bet I will have hard doubts that it will last. It just feels so… weird. Weird in a right way, of course, but still it doesn’t feel like it will last.

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#3

If the end result is the same, does it really matter?

But on a more serious note: If the meds work and calm and quiet things? You’re ADHD. If you were just faking it, your brain would have a rather different reaction to them. No worries there. :slight_smile:

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#4

Yea, thanks. I know that strategically, I’m just getting used to the idea that my brain is LITERALLY wired different, that it’s not a personality defect. But yea, you are right. I definitely had the “ADHD” reaction to the meds, meaning, I functioned with focus. It’s such a weird feeling. But thanks for the input, I sometimes just need someone outside my head to tell me the thing, so I can verify it as true. :slight_smile:

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#5

Well, for me, I frankly don’t believe anything is working, but it still does anyway.

Har har just kidding. Seriously, don’t let the “I’m different” stigma get to you. It sneaks up on me sometimes – I want to not take my meds, f.e., simply because “I would rather be normal on my own than have to take meds to be normal” type excuses start to crop up in my mind. It’s a continual learning and self-understanding process.

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#6

I get that, cause legit, I was SO grateful that my meds have helped me get to stuff ON TIME 3 days in a row. I was even 10 mins EARLY for work today (after going to the store to get food… WHAT!! :exploding_head::exploding_head::exploding_head::exploding_head:) I was crying tears of gratitude on my commute this morning, and I can’t get around the fact that this lil pill made such a difference.

On a side note, how long do you notice the effects of the meds after taking it? I have short release adderall, and it seems like i feel even more focused than normal even before taking my morning dose? Is that residuals from the night before? Also, does the inability to sleep eventually chill out? Cause I have been kinda wired the last 2 nights??

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#7

I don’t so much notice it kicking in so much as I notice it wearing off. I have the extended release and take it when I wake up. About an hour or so after I do notice a touch of dry mouth (but I also have a “oh right, I should have something to drink/maybe eat a thing whoops.” because what is remembering breakfast…) but I def notice that around 4pmish my brain decides that it’s done for the day. Which I think is a fairly natural cycle but oh man does it hit hard some days…

Also, focus often will be better in the mornings! You’ve just slept and in theory, your energy bar will be at the max for the day!

What are you normally doing before bed/when you’re wired? Cause I’m pretty sure the meds (even the extended release) should all be worn off by then. But a lot of stuff from the day can make it hard to chill out (also, ADHD and chill are natural enemies.) The usual “reduce blue light, no activities that will get your heart/adrenaline pumping” advice applies.

If it’s something that’s just started being a Thing since meds have started, write it down somewhere and mention it to your doctor when you have your next check-in/check up

I myself have a paradoxical reaction to stimulants (the only time I have good naps are if I go back to sleep right after taking my meds. I tend to get another 4 hours sleep when I do that, which sometimes I desperately need…) so if you’re the same way, it’s doubly not likely the stims are doing you like that.

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