My boyfriend (ADHD) and I just moved in together a couple months ago. The amount of consistency has been zero and I find me taking on a lot more without being able to do the self care thing because my house is in disarray. I’ve begun to suspect that I may be un-diagnosed ASD and with the number of changes inside the last while I’ve been in constant overwhelm and upset and so to keep from exploding I shutdown. I keep taking things over in order to do stuff so that I can feel like I accomplished some thing or that I can feel the sense that not everything is in disorder. My therapist has been increasingly concerned about my stress levels and isn’t the sort to be able to recommend anything other than insist I need to take care of myself which I fail at. My boyfriend has also been in constant overwhelm and is the sort to attempt to distract but gets overwhelm paralysis and so basically I end up being the executive function so that the thing can get done or I just leave it go with the idea it’s not getting done.
I guess its always been there but with the new living situation and living this way full time has been nothing short of a dysregulated emotional rollercoaster. Can anyone else relate or have any advice? We need some new tools.