Wall of Awful...for eating?

I watched the Wall of Awful video last night and it was super helpful for a lot of things, but it also sounded a lot like my relationship with food? I see some posts about stress-eating and impulse control, but what about not eating enough? Anytime I start thinking about preparing food - and sometimes even when I’m getting ready to eat food - I feel like I have to climb that whole wall and I don’t know why!

I haven’t managed to do more than microwave a frozen meal or make a sandwich in at least a year. It’s more than “I don’t want to stop watching TV and make food” because even when I’m actively trying I just can’t get it done. Is it the wall of awful or is it something else? Is this an ADHD thing? Is it just me?

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I’ve read other ADHDers post that are similar to that and I have that issue myself (though I do also have eating disorder as a factor so that makes me less likely to care)

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Ugh, in all honesty it probably has to do with executive function ( or lack of it :roll_eyes: )

For normal people it’s: I’m hungry, let’s eat

For us it might look like:

  1. hunger…mhhh never heard of it what’s that?
  2. Ok fine what do we have…nope too hard
  3. I shall make a sandwich!
  4. Wait what am I doing?
  5. I need bread…and a knife to cut the bread…knife sounds like life…awwww this sick kitty is named life!!!
  6. Ok why do I have pesto in my hand?
  7. I made it the food!!!
  8. Eating is stupid and boring, let’s watch the office
  9. 2 hours later am I hungry?
  10. …I forgot to clean up
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I don’t have an eating disorder, but I did internalize lots of societal messages about my body, so the other part of this is that I’m not…actually that motivated to fix it all the time. Which also makes wonder of the issue is also getting past all the shame I have around food but iiiiiidk.

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This is one of the most relatable things I’ve ever read in my life!!

Sometimes I can manage to make food if I can like get to the kitchen and then just pinball around in it for a while and then eventuallyyy food gets made

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Yes!!! That exactly how I feel :crazy_face:

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I think, indeed, you can wall-of-awful-ize your eating habits too. It’s about starting up stuff. I remember when I first learned (I think from Jessica?!) that the initiation of a new task requires 1. prioritizing, 2. transitioning, 3. initiating. This is an old psychological saw, applicable not only to ADHD people, but just generally. But I realized that there was a way to BREAK DOWN the act of starting something new. And that helped me a bit. Now I start wondering what my TRANSITIONING problem is, if I’m failing to initiate well. And I know about the Wall Of Awful, so I get it up in my head, and wonder, why am I so awful-ized about this particular task? Food could easily be one of those things. Preparing, remembering to eat, changing from one activity to the other, not wanting to do a bad job, not feeling comfortable with the recipe, forgetting to buy the ingredients, the emotional connections between feeling sustenance and nourishment and the intake of food, the family setting where happiness and parental control all mixed up into dinner time, etc. etc…

I can so relate to this. Being on some ADHD meds that suppress hunger makes things more difficult. I never ignore my hunger, but at the same time making a meal and the clean up process after are enough for me to put it off for a while. My understanding of the wall of awful, is that it always seems to come back to you being the problem. Which leads to self doubt. I can see eating finding a path to being self critical. Just funny how a necessity like eating can lead to this.

Pretty much my life’s meal planning skills. Very well explained. Thank you.