I went to a psychiatrist yesterday and got zoloft and other stuff and he told me that I have both bpd and adhd symptoms and I just realized something really weird I did an sometimes still do, its like when I’m walking on the street there’s always this streets that the side walk is like this:
I’m 35 and when walking on paths like that I play games in my head, like i can’t stand on certain squares or i will walk along the crack like its a tightrope and I try not to fall off
I tend to follow habitual routes, but several years ago something prompted me to “change things up” every now and again. Not to find a route that’s better, shorter, faster, or has less traffic - but to force my attention to engage, rather than just walk or drive “on autopilot”.
Now, thanks to one of Jessica’s songs, I have a term to use when I change things up: Try different!
Since I’m looking for a new job, I am realizing that I might not get back into a tech support role (the 5-6 years that I worked in tech support was my best job so far, and an area in comfortable in). This is simply because there aren’t very many jobs in my area, and as the end of the university school year approaches, I’m expecting more competition for jobs.
The last couple of years has helped me to realize that the satisfaction I get from work is by helping people directly. Serving others is my primary motivation, but I got to do very little of that in my last two jobs, so I’m expanding my job search to include anything that will let me serve people directly.
I’m prepared to make a knight’s jump to another career track. I’m ready to Try Different.
Doesn’t sound weird to me. If you enjoy doing it or it seems to be a form of meditation or it helps you think or sharpen your short term memory (et. al.) . . . Then I say . . . “keep up the good work!”.
On the other hand if you feel that you must continue or otherwise think that you will feel afraid if you stop . . . then that is something else!
nah it was like a way to make walking entertaining lmao.
I also do something weird: I almost always look at the floor when I’m walking. I barely look in front of me unless I have to for like crossing roads. I recently realized I do that because looking around me is a lot for me to handle. Namely sensory overload. So I litteraly get overstimulated if I look around me while walking. I’ve done this since I was a child and mom always tried to have me look in front of me but I just can’t.
I have a lot of sensory overload issues because of the combination of being an extreme HSP and having ADHD.
Could be an HSP thing. I was like that up until my early 20s. If you are on the autism spectrum, it could be due to that…
And being ADHD, we might not be able to control what we focus on.
I’ve been driving long enough that I have good control of my focus while driving, and many of my driving reflexes reactions are automatic. However, when in the front passenger seat, my attention still goes all over the place. (On long drives, I sometimes sit in the back seat with my kids, so my teen son can sit up front and make conversation with his mom. Then, I’ll read, play games, write out my thoughts on my phone, or stare out at the scenery. … Just let my mind so whatever it wants to.)
When I’m walking with a specific destination, and I have to get there on time, I’m able to keep my eyes ahead most of the time. If there’s a lot of traffic, I’ll “keep my head on a swivel”, a trained response from raising kids and from the one year I worked a security job.
Well I am in my school’s Marching Band and each crack in the side walk is about 2 steps apart and I never thought of it to be ADHD but I am use to counting in 4’s that i would step off with my right foot on a 1 hit the first crack with my left on 2 then again with 3 and then 4 and would repeat this counting in my head for about 20 minutes after school every day whist trying to “pay” attention to my brother.
But when there is a sidewalk with a crack down the middle I do walk on it as a tightrope aswell!!
The only thing I notice when I drive is that simply get distracted very easily. And I need more breaks than other people if I make long drives. Cause my focus goes away faster. For some reason I actually enjoy long drives a lot. I have no idea why, but I love it. I would’ve never expected that from myself
Im not on the autism spectrum. I’m too social to be. I do have a lot of other symptoms though. But not enough to be on the spectrum.
It turns out, being sociable doesn’t mean you can’t be on the autism spectrum. I found this eye-opening article by a parent of two autistic girls, one of whom is very sociable. "But She's Too Social To Be Autistic" – WRONG! | Organization for Autism Research
The way the less-sociable child is described makes me think that I might be on the autistic spectrum, because I can identify with all of these descriptions:
- “often struggle in large groups, noisy crowds would scare… always taken a while to warm to new people… definitely regarded as an introvert and isn’t really affectionate at all…”
- “…so many grey areas of friendships which she finds very overwhelming and confusing with lots of rules to follow that she doesn’t quite grasp…”
I’ve learned to be more sociable, but it’s only easy for me to meet new people or tolerate a crowded or noisy place if I’m there for a definite purpose (even better if I’m there to fill a work-related or volunteer role). But those “grey areas” and unspoken social rules still vex me. Somebody has to tell me the rules, because otherwise I might continue to be mistaken, or only figure them out after a long, long time observing.
I have exactly the same thing. But my therapists, every single one of em by now, all tell me I’m too social to have autism. And I’m like, maybe you should let me do a test. That’ll likely make it much clearer
Can you go to your GP and not tell then about seeing if you can get evaluated for Autism?
No therapists know their stuff in every field, so unless they specialise in autism I’d cheerfully ignore them if I were you, lol! (Even if they do specialist in it I don’t like how they are telling you being social means you aren’t autistic because that’s just not true!)
Yeah I kinda find it unfair too. I mean, sometimes I do question whether some things are just caused by ADHD and not autism, but thinking of it I often have both ADHD and autistic reasons for specific symptoms. Like the hyperfocus thing. I definitely think my attention regulation has to do with it, but there are certain litteral obsessions that I can’t get rid of. And then I don’t think it’s an attention thing anymore but a litteral obsession with something. Mental health is a good example of that. And Animal´s, specifically horses, dogs, reptilians and dolphins/whales are things I can absolutely obsess about. I know more about them than I should
I LOVE ANIMALS TOO here’s a pic of my dog using his foot as a pillow:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
Wow! Here’s a picture of my dog . . . and I hope you take this in the right spirit, as a complement, her name is Lucy! She is a seven-year-old rescue from South Carolina. She very much resembles what is known as Carolina Dog. Also referred to as an American Dingo. Those dogs run wild in the Carolinas. In any event please tell me more about your dog.
Aww I wish I had a dog. I sadly can’t afford it, even though I could really use one.
They’re all adorable
This is “my” dog. She lives at my parents house so she’s not really mine anymore:
She’s absolutely adorable
What breed? Mix? Rescue?
It’s a small labradoodle. Yes, they come in this size!