What are your opinions on help with cleaning?

Hey guys. I’m frustrated with myself again.

I now have come to the part where I absolutely accept the fact that things like cleaning the house are tough for me. But nothing has been properly cleaned in weeks by now and I just can’t get it done. It’s to a point where I’m litteraly busy trying to climb the stupid wall of awful for cleanjng and then having to go over the motivational bridge as well all day. And then the cleaning is still not done at the end of the day.

I’ve been thinking on hiring something like a maid or someone to help me clean so I don’t constantly have to think about cleaning. Cause it’s taking up whole days and I can’t get anything else done. It’s very frustrating at this point.

What would you guys think? Am I the only one who seriously struggles this bad with cleaning?
I mean, I’d like to have my house nice and clean. I don’t mind any clutter or anything, but I can’t stand trash. If anything, it makes my ADHD worse. I have one room where I allow myself to trash around which is my crafting room. But this is also for creative purposes. It helps me to leave the rest of the house relatively clean from unnecessary clutter.

I seriously hope I’m not the only one. It’s so frustrating when you want to clean and you just can’t.

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I’ve thought about using a cleaner in the past but have never gone through with it. I am bad at noticing when things get dirty, and even moreso at actually remembering to do cleaning. My girlfriend does most of the serious cleaning around the house now, and it’s something I feel guilty about, so I do try to do more but I don’t do things up to the standard that she has. I would totally support the idea of getting someone. Take that extra stress off you. You don’t have to have them come every day, but maybe once or a twice a month even to help with some of the heavier lifting.

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Jessica talks about this in a video titled “How to Deal with Clutter”.

I’ve always struggled to keep up with keeping the house clean, but when cleaning was part of work responsibilities I do it without hesitation. I’ve never understood this discrepancy in myself. Even when my family drew up a cleaning schedule, I’d keep to it for only a couple of weeks before neglecting the cleaning again.


I think we just have ho have a place where we could just dump stuff however it lies. Maybe it’s related to trouble of “I don’t know where to put this thing, and i stand for too much amount of time deciding where to put it, so let’s just let it rest somewhere”.
Good workplace doesn’t even bother the brain with such a question, and in the house space rarely gets this optimised.

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That strategy doesn’t always work from the video sadly. Most of the clutter here is clutter in motion. We often clean it up before it becomes clutter in statis. The exception is my crafting room.

Edit: I’d love to have a cleaner. There’s only one problem with that: money. Why on earth does everything have to cost money? It’s not like I can help a mental condition that I’m born with. It’s not like I was born and choose to have ADHD or something. And then when someone doesn’t have money she can’t provide the accommodations that she needs for herself. It’s kinda sad tbh

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Sometimes cleaning services calculate prices based on size or by time. It can be helpful to minimize the things you want the service to do to a few priority areas in order to save costs.

It can still be expensive, so doing it bi-weekly or monthly might be an affordable way. Or, alternatively, you could have them come in for one big clean and then try to keep things up on your own after that for a period of time.

It’s not an easy choice or an easy cost to bear. That being said, you may have to weigh out the potential benefits. Is it worth $100-$200/month for the peace of mind of having things cleaner? Will you feel better about you and also about your home? Will you feel more comfortable? Sometimes those things are worth the cost, and we can find ways to pay for them with other choices we make.

Whatever happens, you’re not alone in this struggle.

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Maybe your can trade services with someone. When I was little, my parents sometimes needed a babysitter but couldn’t afford to pay one. So, my mom traded babysitting with other moms in our apartment complex. It was a win-win, because then nobody had to pay for babysitting.

For about a year, I tutored a high school student in mathematics, and in exchange her parents gave my family meat from animals they had raised in their farm.

Maybe you can trade services with someone. You might have skills that will benefit someone who can help you clean. Maybe be a vocal coach for their kids? What other talents do you have? Cooking? Gardening? Tutoring in some academic subject you did well at in school? Elder care? Pet care?

By the way, you mentioned having a crafting room. What kind of crafting do you do? Is it something just for your own enjoyment, or do you make things that you might be able to sell? Or teach to others?

  • My wife was an avid scrapbooker for several years. The latter half of that time, she taught scrapbooking classes at a local craft shop.
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When I was using an old upright vacuum cleaner, using it was an infrequent affair. Last year I bought a robotic vacuum cleaner and I run it almost everyday as it takes just a few minutes to empty it. With two cats, now shedding due to the season change, it picks up a lot of stuff everyday! In order to make sure it doesn’t get tangled in wires or paper I have to keep the floor clean. And I rarely sneeze now! For laundry and doing dishes I follow a less regular schedule but they are under control. Clearing paper mountains is harder. What works for me is to attack one mountain at a time! One room, or one desk or one box or one surface. Right after breakfast when I have plenty of energy. On such tasks what works for me is to start small. While the kettle is boiling for tea, I start rinsing one or two dishes and then I end up doing the whole lot.

My 2 cents: experiment and give yourself time to figure out what works for you. You don’t have to meet society’s expectations of “clean”. You can just do enough to de-stress yourself. Pretend that your “wall of awful” is a “Jenga tower”! Pull out one block at a time and pretty soon the tower will fall down! It doesn’t even matter which block you pull out!


Its good to think about. At the moment I just ask mom every now and then to help me, but I can’t keep doing this to her. I don’t want to either. She’s done so much already. Now it’s her time to take a break from taking care of her kids. Everyone’s moved out now and I want my parents to enjoy that. Especially mom cause she put so much energy in raising me and taking care of me.

Funny thing crafting is mentioned. I’m planned to go sell some of the stuff I make in the future. I’m building a website for mainly my music at this moment. And I’d like to have an online store with this and I wanna sell my music there if I have any CD’s (which I do right now) and I wanna sell some small crafting things too. I craft all kinds of things but for selling I wanna focus on small things.

My boyfriend also just came with the fact that he feels stressed about everything right now cause he has to do a lot of the work since I can’t do it. I’m sad he didn’t come with this earlier, cause now I feel guilty about it. If he reaches his line he should say it. It’s not like it’s written on his forehead. I can’t see how stressed he is. And he’s a difficult person to read to begin with. Even for me, and I can read people very easily. Something needs to change and I know I can’t do it at this moment. At least not alone. So, imma go see what I can do :thinking:

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The next time you see something that needs cleaning, ask yourself: “How would Mom take care of this?”

We parents do our best to pass on the lessons that we think our kids need to know. Your mom taught you a lot, I’m sure. You can find those things inside you, but you might have to ask yourself directly, maybe try to relive some experiences in you memory.

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The problem with that is that everything mom does in her way, I can’t do. Yk she is as neurotypical as someone can be. Perfect in cleaning. Seriously, her house is absolutely spotless. If she doesn’t feel like vacuuming she just thinks “if I do it now I won’t have to do it anymore” which motivates her enough to do it. That very obviously doesn’t work for me. So yeah, that sadly doesn’t work for me cause this counts for everything in this case.

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