Welcome to the forum! I only got diagnosed a year ago at 25, after it had been causing much distress in my relationship and possibly even affected my job performance. I worried over it to myself for quite a while before deciding to tell anybody, which I think was a mistake. I was so full of anxiety leading up to my test, worried I had made the whole thing up and was just seeking excuses. Even after receiving the diagnosis I was worried they only gave me the label because I told them I had the symptoms, similar to how I was treated for depression in my teen years because I presented as having depression, but no one looked beyond that for any other issues. (I am not recommending this next part) but once I finally saw a therapist for it and then once I finally tried some medication for it, I finally felt some validation in the diagnosis. The therapist said “yes, I see these symptoms in you” and the psychiatrist said “yes, these medications seem to work for you.” I am NOT recommending you try medication just to see if the diagnosis is legit!
Talking to your mom can be really helpful in identifying “symptoms” from earlier in your childhood. I have a terrible memory and couldn’t remember much from my grade school years, so my mom was able to help with that a bit. If you have any friends from childhood, they might be able to help also. I worked on putting a list together before I went for my appointment to help illustrate that the issues I was having were not just from the last couple years and possibly stemming from anxiety (which the doctor said I might also have.) Getting diagnosed now can also help you develop tools for handling the changes coming up, like getting yourself to work on time.
I’m not sure how the process works where you’re at, but the way I did it was apparently not everyone’s experience. I scheduled a blind appointment for a psycho-educational evaluation, which involved 6 hours of terribly boring IQ tests and a brief history evaluation, and then I waited a month for a poorly-written report that explained how my results on the test indicated ADHD. I’ve since read that meeting with a therapist might have given a diagnosis in one session, just from talking to someone who knew about it! Whatever you choose, I would suggest doing your research on the process and make sure you find someone who knows about ADHD in adults.
As mentioned before though, even if it isn’t ADHD, or there’s more on top of that, knowing what the thing is that’s causing you distress in life can really help you address it and learn to manage it. One of the biggest things I found was that I could stop beating myself up so much for all my “stupid” mistakes, because I knew the way my brain worked was different instead of stressing myself over not being “normal enough.” It helped me learn to work with my brain instead of against it.
I’m sorry this ended up being so long. I want you to know that we are all here for you. Let us know how things go!