I put off responding to an email/text, and then I feel like I’ve ruined the relationship, and then I feel overwhelming anxiety forever/until I force myself to respond to the email/text
Very much the same, and I don’t respond, feel bad, and then end up not responding because I feel bad… Not going near the email…
Also, cleaning, tidying, getting stuff sorted and done… I want to, but I just can’t…
I learned about the concept just a few days ago. What a useful metaphor! Wall of Awful … and the whole idea, that the resistance to initiation of the task gets “built up” brick by brick.
Not sure if there’s an answer to “what” my Wall of Awful might be. Hmm. Does it have to be specific like that?
Hahaha not at all! Where, how, why, when… who? Not so sure about who.
Ahhhh I hear you on sorting. I think about it, and then I think “YOU ARE THE STEREOTYPE”, and then I stop thinking about it.
Making phone calls. Especially business or anytime there might be conflict. I tend to avoid confrontation at all costs, even when i know i am right. I eventually will do the task, but it sometimes takes me a week to work up to it.
Also group events. Anytime it is a big crowd and i am supposed to mingle and smooze people. I have social-anxiety so this sort of thing stresses me out, i don’t end up saying something stupid or doing something embarrassing (which i do sometimes). I am much better in small groups.
Yessss. Chronically feeling like you’re going to say/do the wrong thing is… not a big surprise, from a grown-up ADHD kid.
Yep, I get that all the time.
Like if I forget to thank someone or give them a present, I usually keep forgetting and then I avoid the situation forever because of anxiety and presto - ruined relationships.
Oh and: telling someone my plans, and then they ask as pleasant small-talk, “So what’s new with you and that plan?” Or: telling someone a throwaway idea, and having them say, “That’s a great plan, you should go with it!” Like LOL IDEK WHAT TO SAY NOW, but if I went with every one of my “”great plans””, that would be a literal disaster (I’ve got gadgets and gizmos aplenty…)
Well, for me, I don’t like to make phone calls (or send text messages), and if there’s something that I can resolve in any manner other than phoning the person, I will, even when we agreed that we’d talk on the phone. I excuse myself by saying that I like having written documentation, which I can best get with a written letter or with an email, but really, I suspect that I know I don’t want to think off-the-cuff during the phone call to try to change my position in that social a manner. I want to make a demand, put it in writing, and be done with it (even if it’s not a negotiation situation) and I probably emotionally worry that the other person is going to somehow emotionally manipulate me, on the basis of their superior non-ADHD skills at interacting, and then I’ll either lose out on what I wanted, or I’ll get angry and won’t be able to control myself and I’ll start expostulating and shouting even though I don’t want to. Seems to be my worry. My worry of a Wall Of Awful.
Sorthing out problems on my desk that has nothing to do with me. Emails, studying, wrk productivity. The bigest one is that I feel stuck in my life and that my life is passing me by and the harder my brain tells me to do.something about it the less happens.