Who told you to get tested?


#1

Everyone has a different story. Maybe a teacher noticed your ADHD, maybe your parents or a friend of the family.

I took driving lessons when I was 24 and my driving instructor was the first person to tell me my behavior was typical ADHD behavior. Turns out he was right.

Funny thing is, I have had a lot of psychologists in my lifetime. I even went to a psychiatric hospital and NONE OF THEM thought of ADHD. But my driving instructor did…

So back to my question: who told you (or your parents) to do a test?


#2

My therapist. My lovely amazing second therapist. I love my therapist.
I love my therapist so much. She is an amazing human being who I will mourn the day she passes (hopefully it’s like still a couple decades off but she’s older… so… WOW I LET THIS GET SAD. SORRY. BACK ON POINT.)

I was mentioning how despite anxiety and depression medication I was still struggling at work, distracted, couldn’t focus… and how I’d been like that for a while at work I was just really good at hiding it… most times. So she asked if my psychiatrist had talked to me about ADHD, I said no. She gave me a list of struggles and had me circle the ones I struggled with and I spoke to my psychiatrist about them (psychiatrist was rude, but did eventually diagnose me). I just recently (as in within the last 6 months) got a new psychiatrist after 3 years of not having one, and she recently re-diagnosed me. I’m supposed to take the TOVA test too but I… keep forgetting about it (fitting, I know). ANYWAY.

But yeah, it was my therapist. No one else really thought about it - though we had joked about ADHD when I was a kid like “LOL Harley is so ADHD” but that never… led me to assume though it might literally be ADHD, yes. :sweat_smile:


#3

I went to a Catholic school for preschool, kindergarten, and first grade. Every year they wanted to hold me back because of… concerns? My parents would ask, “Is he able to do everything he is supposed to?” “Yes, but he is last in his class.” Thankfully my parents didn’t give in. Second grade was my first year in a public school. A few weeks in, at the very first open house (Parents go and see what their kids have been doing/learning for those that don’t know/ are not from the US) my teacher told my parents that “there is something wrong with your son.” After some testing, here I am 23, or so, years later! It’s been a wild ride to say the least, but I’m thankful that my teacher(I don’t remember her name, but can still picture her face :joy: ) realized something was wrong.


#4

I finally after dealing with it my entire life decided on my own. My wife has been telling me since we were only dating. Married 15 years tomorrow. Still haven’t made an appointment to start the process yet. But I’m trying, the fear is overwhelming so I procrastinate further.


#5

The internet told me. After I had another fight with my partner.

We fought for probably the 12th time in 4 years over me forgetting things–appointments, dates, chores, conversations, etc.–and she asked how it was possible we could have talked about it so many times and I haven’t been able to improve it. I didn’t have a satisfactory answer, so I started googling. Eventually I found more and more suggestions in discussions about other couples who’ve had the same issue that ADHD could be involved, so I did a self-assessment and got a pretty high score.

When I showed her the test, she took one look at and said, “Welp, that makes sense.” (She had actually speculated if I might have ADHD about two years ago; I dismissed the idea at the time because an ex-gf of mine has ADHD and I figured she would have recognized it if I had it. Obviously that was wrong :stuck_out_tongue: ) She encouraged me to get a real test, and two weeks later (i.e. 7 days ago) I was tested and diagnosed by a specialist who also has ADHD.


#6

Nobody told me. I did my own research when trying to find out what was going on with my kid. I read articles on many different disorders and learning issues, then watched conferences, then read books. I realized ADHD not only fit my son’s issues, it also explained pretty much my entire life.


#7

Nobody. In fact, everybody I told about maybe getting tested told me I was crazy and that I clearly dont have ADHD and if I did, they had it, too. Well, maybe they should get tested now. I can easily see some of them in the tribe…

One exception: My flatmate who also has it. After I’d started looking into mental health explanations for what I was experiencing, he suggested to look into this, which I would have kept dismissing for at least some time otherwise. The same way I never really considered I might need glasses until I got my eyes tested and the doctor told me my left eye had never really worked right.


#8

My parents had me tested for Tourettes at 11 even though they wanted to have me tested for ADHD but the pshycologist said that there were no ground to check for that. I also had a round of therapy that lasted for two or three years, she never mentioned that I could have ADHD.

What eventually had me go as a 21 year old and fight a new round was that my boyfriend though I was being “emotionally unstable at best” getting angry for small things. He was not wrong, I am unstable at best and I want to continue being his girlfriend. I went to get help with my anger management and got diagnosed with ADHD. No fighting required.

I feel so much better and my depression is close to being gone.

Edit: what had my parents thinking it was ADHD was probably my (lack of) anger management and my mother did a lot of research when (I think) my father suggested ADHD.


#9

I wasn’t given an option because the day care center didn’t give my mom a choice. Either, I went to a shrink for testing or I never came back. PERIOD.


#10

Oh wow that sounds a little harsh. But they were right. I don’t think they have the right to say that. I am a teacher and a school where I worked did that once, but that was a case of serious child neclection. The parents were blind to the fact the student really needed professional help. But it is still an advice, never an order.

Hope you are OK.


#11

That was a loooooong time ago! Back in the early/mid 70’s, schools had the right to say things like that to parents. It was widely held that the educators were the parents’ eyes and ears when something kept them from their kids. I never gave it a second thought.
Thank you for your comments and concern. I really appreciate it!!


#12

Well, I am replying super late… but dude… go. Changed my life and marriage (the latter of which was still pretty good) for the better. I can now be more “present” and toughtful towards my wife, and do things for her like… clean the table… start dinner… WITHOUT being reminded! Or her even thinking of it! Gasp!
Believe me, if you get the right treatment, your marriage and life overall will only improve!


#13

I noticed on my own and I kept convincing my parents to get tested and they allowed me to be tested


#14

I told myself to get tested.

To start off with, I’m a foster child. In my foster family, no one has ADHD and they also don’t know what the symptoms are and everything. From the first day at school my parents and teachers saw that I was different then others. I honestly don’t know how the teachers didn’t think about me getting tested for ADHD. I couldn’t sit still in class, I had problems focusing, I reacted very impulsively, I got bullied, telling that my social skills weren’t the best. You know, all these things, are typical ADHD things. Still they never mentioned it. I find it ironic.

Back to the foster child part. In my biological family, my older sister has ADD, my brother probably has ADD, my little sister has ADHD, and both my older brother and sister both have more mental disorders. And I’ve never been diagnosed with one. I’ve always thought: if they have mental disorders, why wouldn’t I? It can’t be that I’m perfectly healthy in my brain. I’m so different from “normal” people.

Then at high school I met a girl who has autism. PDD-NOS to be exact. She also has ADHD. But her ADHD is not strong or anything. Her autism is stronger. Later in high school life I got a job, where I had to work with people with mental disorders. The Down syndrome passed, but also people with ADHD and autism. Now I’m at college, and I’m in a group of friends where half of the group has autism or ADHD. I found it weird that I had so much in common with them and I could socialize so well with them. So I decided to search all the symptoms of ADHD and autism, and what I read was my complete personality. Already before I did that I often told my parents to get me tested for something, cause something isn’t right. They thought I was crazy. Since I read the symptoms, I decided to go and tell them even more, until at one day, they really saw I was fed up with myself. We sat down and talked, and I, again, mentioned the tests. Finally they agreed with me, and so now I’m in the middle of the progress to get tested. I only had one appointment which was an intake conversation, but only out of that they already stated that I have ADHD. I also want to get tested for autism. I think I have a light form of autism too. But now I’m at least happy that the story is out. I have ADHD, it only needs to be confirmed officially.

Yeah that’s my story. Hope you liked it​:yum::yum:


#15

Wow, beautiful story! You are really strong and brave. You can be really proud of yourself.


#16

Thank you :heart::heart:

I grew up telling myself to be strong. Guessing that works?

I’ve delt with a lot in My life. That helps too.

And I’m definitely proud of myself, of who I Am. I love myself as person. I’ve been told you first have to love yourself Before you can love someone else. I’m living up to that :smile::smile:


#17

Similar story here! I was having the same argument with my partner. I didn’t know what to do. He was really upset. I said “I’ve tried so many antidepressants but none of them work, I don’t think I’m depressed” and he said “you don’t need antidepressants, you need ****ing ritalin!”

I think he was joking originally, but I got assessed anyway and it turns out he was right! We still broke up anyway… but at least I can work on it for my next relationship now.


#18

No one, I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me… so I started googling… I found a AD(H)D website and I was shocked! I’m really not weird! It took me a borderline diagnose and 10 years, to finally get the right diagnosis. The ‘borderline’ is gone thank god… Turned out is was a severe depression caused by the ADD-problems, losing everything I had, and major live events following up… was a terrible time, but now I have a fresh start :smiley:


#19

Never did answer the base question here… Oops.
Work did, sorta.
You know that fear you have that work will find out you are faking, aren’t good enough, your gonna failhard and get fired?
Yeah. Except for the fired bit… that happened. They were very loving and nice about it, about as loving and nice as you can get for it, but a written warning, and an admonishment that I really needed to get my act together.
We talked about expectations and somehow the concept of focus came up and I was like… wait… hold up. What you are describing regarding focus? I have never experienced in my entire life.
Told them I would do some digging and keep them informed on what I found and how I would try and improve. And down the rabbit hole I went. Man, YouTube, Wikipedia, … I had a guess it was ADD or ADHD or something like that… but I didn’t know enough. Watched some TED talks that were… Not the greatest? They all were like “ADHD is the greatest thing ever, we need to stop stigmatizing it, hyperfocus superpower!!!” And I am like “I can’t lose my job, I have a wife and foster son, I NEED HELP.”
And then (good God, I am tearing up typing this), I found @Jessica on her TED Talk… and I cried. I understood… and knew that if I talked to her in person, I would be understood. And… that was everything to me.
And… Oh look… she has a YouTube Channel? And back down the rabbit hole I went, but with more focus and direction.
Finally got my AEP to direct me to a therapist, but turns out she could not do a real diagnosis, even though she agreed (after 4 very frustrating sessions) that yes I had ADHD. (My wife was very upset, she felt it was obvious. I work Tech Support, so I was telling her that the therapist was doing good troubleshooting. Make sure it is not something else, lets get the diagnosis right the FIRST time, and I appreciated it, though yes it was frustrating.)
Work was totally in the loop on this, along with my struggle to find someone who would diagnose me without also needing me get admitted and check for BiPolar etc. And paying. A lot.
FInally someone screwed up the paperwork, and got me in. The doc was like… uh, our center only does this if we are also checking for other disorders… (And then she saw my wife snap internally and take a breathe to just effing lose it right there.) … “But… I can do it under my personal license.” … There we go.
Gave her the letter the therapist gave me with her findings.
“Oh… I trained her!” … For reals? AWESOME!
Often I had to ask wifey her thoughts on questions the doc asked me for the assessment. I was… quickly diagnosed. Yep.
Took that to my family doctor, nailed the prescription first time. Vyvanse, 50 mg, extended release. It’s beautiful.
Work has turned around. I still have issues, but its better…
That is my story. :smiley: