I also had siblings with much more obvious mental health issues than me, so I was convinced that meant I didn’t have any. I was a nervous wreck in high school, had spontaneous anxiety attacks with no discernible triggers that I didn’t acknowledge because I didn’t have anxiety, it wasn’t as bad as my sister’s anxiety that’s been obviously present her entire life, so it must not exist, right? And executive dysfunction? that’s not something I deal with, because my brother can’t even remember to brush his teeth and shower without prompting and I can do that.
Here’s the thing about comparison - it’s evil, and it shortcuts your ability to get the help that you need to succeed to your best ability. It invalidates your experiences and struggles. That’s one of the biggest reasons to get a diagnosis. When you have a professional to give you an objective view of yourself, your struggles, your life, that can be incredibly validating and help you to realize that you actually do deserve help, regardless of if someone else “deserves it more.” Struggle is relative. The worst thing to happen in your life is still the worst thing that’s happened in your life, regardless of what anyone else has gone through.
As it turns out, I got diagnosed with both anxiety and ADHD-PI. I’ve always managed to be a fairly high performer - I do well in school, I get places on time, and with an extraordinary amount of help from my phone, I don’t forget things I need to do as often as I might otherwise. But everything is still hard and super draining and before I was diagnosed, I was convinced I probably just wasn’t trying hard enough and was probably just a failure. Seeking diagnosis was terrifying because it meant I might be right - that I’m lazy and just worse at coping than everyone else. I still battle with that thought process, but now I have the diagnosis to be able to shoot back at it, “no, I have a neurological disorder that makes things objectively harder” and my therapist to be able to tell me what’s normal, what’s ADHD, and to encourage me and remind me that I’m working very hard and that even if it’s slow going, it’s paying off.
Idk how to talk to your parents about this because I was diagnosed as an adult and with the full support of my family, but I can’t stress enough how much being diagnosed helps to validate your struggles isolated from anyone else’s. That’s important. Once you can acknowledge something’s going on, it’s much easier to find solutions and things to help you along the way. Accommodations and medication definitely help a lot too. Can’t get those w/o a diagnosis. A diagnosis is the first step to convincing yourself (and your parents) that you deserve that help and that your symptoms aren’t just a personal failing.