@Kaylasings422: I’m curious how many of you brains consistently think about this…
I’ve thought about it quite a bit. I can’t say for certain if I’ve ever experienced a “neuro-typical” day, but I believe I have had one or two experiences that came close.
There was a day before I was diagnosed with ADHD that I megadosed on caffeine by accident. I think it was that fabled ‘bulletproof’ coffee; the one that you mix a tablespoon of butter into it to extend the effects of the caffeine. Instead of becoming ultra hyper and frantic from the stimulants everything suddenly became… calmer and more focused.
All the white noise and fog that clutters my mind suddenly subsided and there was an odd sensation in its place: a peaceful silence. I thought about a task that needed to be done, and it was like my body started moving to complete the action before I was fully aware I had decided to do it. Rather than fighting my mind and body, I was in complete control. I started making a list in my head of other tasks I needed to do, all the while my body continued to dutifully fold the laundry in front of me on autopilot.
Somehow I wasn’t even tempted to deviate away from the chores to something more “fun” because I was at peace and content with the knowledge that I was performing an important task that was benefiting my family. I felt proud and energized and calm and in control.
I wasn’t afraid I would fail because I had the sense that I couldn’t fail. It was freaky how my body seemed to anticipate my movements before I had even fully planned them. I was graceful and swift, knocking out several chores in the space of a single hour.
And then the effects started to wear off…
The fog came back and started to make my mental list of tasks hazy and unreadable. I started to trip over my own feet. Tasks began to overlap and jumble together until I was working on three simultaneously depending on which room I walked into, but not making any progress on them. And then I abandoned the chores all together in frustration.
I’m still waiting to experience a moment of beautiful clarity like that again. It haunts me to remember it. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever experienced and I’m terrified I’ll never experience it again.
You know how athletes train with added weights on their bodies to improve their performance? Because when they remove the added weight their bodies are still expecting that level of resistance? I wonder if those of us with ADHD could achieve much more than an average “neuro-typical” if we were given the same brain because we are used to fighting against all the resistance within our minds?
Just a small ponderance.