Wonder what it's like to be neurotypical


#21

That’s exactly how I think
I was born to be a star- why let society hold me back


#22

I dunno… I figure it’s more like seeing in the infra red and UV spectrum at the same time. Try explaining that to somebody who only sees black and white.


#23
> @Anonymous1: I AM NOT NOW, NOR WILL I EVER BE INTERESTED IN ANYTHING THAT SEEKS BY ITS VERY EXISTENCE TO MAKE ME TYPICAL!! PERIOD!!

I can’t speak for anyone else, but my personal experience with ADHD thus far has not conveyed it as a blessing or superpower.

While I can appreciate the creativity that comes from having the disability, the pain that I tend to cause others because of it and the lack of general productivity make me wish for a “cure”.

I got to experience life briefly as I believe a neuro-typical person does once and the experience has haunted me ever since. There is so much chaos, so much raw emotion (read: pain, anger), so much confusion inside my head. To have all that vanish and be left with a profound and enveloping peace? To feel like I’m actually in full control of all my body’s motivations and thoughts? That’s completely worth it to me.

To me, it is my experiences as a person and how I respond to others that defines who I am. This disease marks me, true. But if I was to find a cure and take it, I would not suddenly become someone completely different because my experiences have not changed. At most, I would become a better version of myself.

But that’s just me. Others are free to have a different opinion.


#24

I remember when I took my meds for the first time and actually started getting things done without second-guessing every single step and I suddenly looked up and thought: Oh, so that’s what normal feels like?

The meds don’t always have that effect, especially now that I got used to them, but on a good day, I still get that. On a very good day, I can even glimpse it without meds. The rest of the time, I wonder as well. What would it be like to have that clarity all the time but also none of the fertitlity that a good chaos brings?

We might be disappointed if we ever got there. From the glances I got, it’s a bit like getting a new needle for your record player and all those old records sound much clearer than before but not quite as crisp and dynamic as you’ve imagined they’d sound - or as they have always sounded in your head.

Best I can describe it is with negatives. Not second-guessing everything, not accompanying every thought I have with a thought about that thought, not building mind palaces out of lists just to get the next chore done, not spending half an hour between tasks changing gears. Not thinking about it.


#25

A while back, I started collecting some blog articles into an ebook about where ideas come from which then turned into a more elaborate project and became more about procrastination and writers’ block, too, and let’s just say I’m still researching that aspect.

The core idea was, I got frustrated by writers claiming you can’t create ideas, you have to wait for them. In my experience, I couldn’t stop creating ideas. So my base argument was: you can’t stop thinking. There are always random thoughts firing through your brain. And the art of being creative was to shape those thoughts into ideas, with practice.

Since my diagnosis, though, I wondered: Maybe it’s just me? Or us brains? What if everybody else doesn’t even know what it’s like to have all these little thought explosions in their heads all the time? And how would I know?


#26

Oh, yes. It’s a dog of a thing. But I find that most of my problems have come from an inflexibility and intolerance from neurotypical people.

There is little from my condition that I would consider a major negative, in isolation from dealing with other people. Which I more or less am.

I’m as happy as an cop at a speedway carpark when I’m by myself.

Actually, some of my tough times are from a lack of interaction with other people. But you get what I mean…


#27

Same here. But not all thoughts are worth turning into ideas and not all such ideas are worth turning into something useful or interesting. When I see a problem I do automatically try to think of how to solve it but I don’t see it as an adhd trait.


#28

I was really anti medication until I read some positive stuff from ‘people like me’ who had had good experiences with them (diagnosed as an adult, worried about going the medicated route). I decided to give it a go.

The results on the first day were amazing, though i later discovered that was mostly due to the caffeine cocktail I had accidentally created :sweat_smile:

Since then it’s been mixed, but generally positive. And the biggest differences have been due ti my therapist and coach. I now have weeks where I am really productive several days in a row, and get more done while taking more time off :grinning:

Have you seen the thing about the master procrastinator with an instant gratification monkey who spends his days filled with guilt in the dark playground? And the normal person who does some work first and then gets to enjoy being in the light playground (which is filled with exactly the same equipment but has no guilt attached).

I am happy to report that I have found the light playground since getting an adhd coach! And I get to go there several times a week, it’s lovely :slightly_smiling_face:


#29

Sounds horrifying. But I was the first guy for most of my adult life, always unable to enjoy my free time because the things I wasn’t doing kept nagging at me. Only recently I learned to accept procrastination as part of the process - knowing I have a month to do a task but I probably won’t get started until two days before it’s due, so I might as well enjoy the next 28 days. It actually works, sometimes.


#30

Nope. That’s part of what you need the practise for. Abandoning bad ideas befroe you sink time into them is a skill.


#31

I’ve gotta be honest… I don’t wonder what it’s like to be neurotypical really.

When I first got used to my meds, it felt nice that I didn’t have to try so hard any more to do things, it was like everything got WAY easier, I stopped being so hard on myself. Honestly it doesn’t really register to me that everyone’s always had it that way, a lot of neurotypical people still hate themselves for other reasons. I can’t compare my experiences to anyone else’s, we’re all different.

The fact is that having undiagnosed ADHD for 25 years made me resilient as HELL and taught me how to really push myself. If anything, it feels like I’ve been on training wheels my whole life, and now that the training wheels are off I can accomplish so much more!

But the main reason that I don’t ever wish I was neurotypical is that not a single person in my immediate family is neurotypical. We all have developmental disorders of some kind and although we’re the weirdest most dysfunctional family I know, I’ve learned so much and I now help other families with neurodiversity for a living. My ADHD has taught me so much and although it’s nearly killed me at times, I couldn’t honestly say that I’d be interested in being neurotypical. I never even think about it because I don’t really care :woman_shrugging:

In the past I’ve been bitter towards neurotypical people in my past who didn’t understand me, but there’s absolutely no point holding that resentment for anyone. I can’t change it and I’ve moved on. Life may have been easier without ADHD but actually it’s led me into a career that I adore and made me the person I am, with the battle scars to show how much I’ve learned.


#32

Oh I also wanted to add as a separate point… having ADHD made me immune to the fear of failure that so many of my friends have :joy: when you spend your whole life making mistakes, you get used to it!!


#33

I understand your point… A cure would be great… like if we had our meds for a short period and got clarity and were cured… and never needed therapy or meds again… of course that would be great. :grinning:

What others are noting ADHD ppl mostly are the most creative ppl on the planet we know this today, asides from spontaneous and funny, hyperactive/ impatient lol for the most part… great people that need to delagate our weaknesses and put alarms for everything.:roll_eyes: cause we lose ourselves in our own little worlds…If we had to give up our strengths for just being another normal person. Then maybe we’d have sit back and continue to struggle… Don’t take it personal, because ADHD is completely different and comes with a friend, and we all face different hurdles.
This site is to unite and look at the potential and point out the positives too… but we understand each other and accept ourselves for the good, the bad and the ugly. We are Okay!!! :grinning::wink:
So, lets focus on how you are doing nowadays.


#34

I hear ya!!! Me too I just recently diagnosed and all my life over compensating working 16 hours a day and have 3 kids… it hasnt been a walk in the park.


#35

Oh. Penny just dropped that this is why my parents worked 16 hours a day 6 days a week, until they hit about 55 and did that 7 days a week until retirement :sweat_smile:


#36

It is horrible, that was the guy’s point. And that was my life too. I never dreamed I would ever get to the sunny playground because I just knew I would always have a backlog of things i was procrastinating on.

But thanks to the whole treatment package I’m learning that it’s ok to take the evening off, that I have a plan, and if I mess up the plan I’ll make a better one next week, but even then it is usually still ok to take the evening off.

My life is 10 times better than it used to be.


#37

Life would be boring without people like us. I’m glad we’re here too.

Also, though I’m not actually religious, I did get taught a load of bible stories as a kid. And if I’ve remembered correctly there was a real warning story about a guy with amazing strength who really shouldn’t have let his wife cut his hair…

It really is ok to be different, and the people who can’t appreciate us how we are are a) losing out on great company and b) probably not worth our time.


#38

Imagine your auto pilot works reasonably well, so you only (should) take the driving seat (conscious decision making, planning, etc) rarely. The dark side is: most of neuroticals can live by without practicing being conscious, so its hard when they really need it. We are good on that part, but because of the execution deficit its not always helpful.


#39

Me!!! Lol, that’s my problem… or lack of. Everyone judges me because I prefer to stay home in my little world. To me is when I am at my happiest. Doing whatever I want to do…


#40

But, i think it is… problem solving skills and creativity is on the top of the list. As you read around on this site you will find so many people with almost identical traits.