Your hardest thing?

#1

I’m curious, do you have a hardest thing to do? Something That just wrecks you and sends your mind in 8 directions?

Today I was trying to get my 2 year old son out the door and it Was Just a train wreck.

Get his shoes from the closet
Remember I need keys
Find the keys but don’t put them in my pocket
Remember I need a water bottle
Fill the water bottle
Son is now in another room pulling out toys
Clean up
Go back for shoes, somehow they’ve been kicked back into the deepest part of the closet
Get shoes on him
Score, remembered the water bottle!
Walk out the door
Forgot the keys…

Literally all I had to do was put his shoes on, grab a water bottle and keys and it took me 15 minutes just something about that mix of distractions (2 and of 5 year old) and disorganization just spirals my brain.

So what’s your adhd kryptonite?

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#2

Pretty much the same thing. Getting out of the house to goto work and remembering everything I needed to take with me. If I didn’t set alarms on my phone i probably would not have a job at all.

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#3

I have a hard time getting back to people’s texts and calls. Just calling people in general.

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#4

It takes me about 30 minutes sometimes to focus enough to start working on my system. Even when I already know exactly what to do. Having to respond to a message means I need another 15 to 30 minutes to get back in the zone.

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#5

So, it’s kinda related to your original question and after reading the other responses not as much. Shortly after I started at my job 5 years ago, they cross trained me in Order Entry, and I got stuck there for a year and a half. And I don’t really mind the work involved in doing order entry, but it is the most toxic office environment I’ve ever worked in. The sheer level of negativity and bullshit, and the constant drama will totally derail me for the rest of the day. Then I pick up my kids and I’m trying to get our evening stuff done and spend some good time with them, and I’m just totally spent.

In response to the actual responses, for me it helps to automate absolutely everything that I can. Do everything you can the night before. I’m sure you’ve heard it a hundred times, but once you get the little things in place it really does help, and kids can learn the steps too. I use mantras for everything, for both them and for me. Pull my keys back out and hold them in my hand before I pull the door shut. Have hooks by the door for my keys and purse, girly’s backpack. Shoe crates by the door. I’ve kept a TV tray by the door in places where I couldn’t hang stuff on the wall and that’s where I’d put my purse and stuff on the way in, so it would be there on the way out. I tried for years to make myself work the way the world around me works, and I was able to glean little bits from here and there (Flylady’s you can do anything for 15 minutes thing, and the general concept of the cleaning zones, etc) but I really had to get to the point that I changed my world to fit me as much as I can. Once I decided I wasn’t afraid to use the apps, alarms, reminders etc it became a lot easier to create a system that at least usually works for me

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#6

Ramp up time is such a big thing for me. I will come out of a meeting and watch my coworkers just plow back into work and I’m going to have to sit here for 20-30 minutes ramping up to work mode. Checking email, walking around. Maybe a 2-3 minute breathing excercise. then boom, that “Quick check in” just derails the whole process.

Still trying to express that to my wife, but I’m really bad at communicating the things I need so it normally goes poorly :\

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#7

Managing feelings with relationships.

I’m trying to learn that accepting that relationships may not work out even though I did nothing wrong. This goes for friends and dating.

It’s more focused on dating just because I feel like I’m inadequate in showing romantic interest or fail to flirt. And when I do get lucky with a relationship, it can end because of some extreme reason. My last two ended because of international issues, things that is outside of my control.

One was dealing with getting deported because they never moved from a student visa to a green card after being stateside for 10 years.

The other moved back to her home country, tried to make the relationship work with me but in the end it turned out it was too much of a strain to keep up a long distance relationship at that scale… plus we were at two different stages of our life. There was a lot of strain at the end of my most recent one just because she wasn’t upfront with her feelings but we eventually got it patched up.

Anyways, I’m back to trying to date. :crossed_fingers: I hope with better opportunity and success!

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#8

hug

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#9

For me, it’s all the negative feelings I have to overcome to get my tax stuff, together, start homework, finish projects once the excitement is gone, calling people back, planning projects…the list is long, but its overcoming those obstacles of negativity.

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#10

I thought that wall of awful video was really helpful here. I’ve also found keeping a bullet journal and trying to do 1 anxiety causing thing on that list a day is good.

I feel like those negative feelings are the thing that most people don’t get? They don’t understand that ground in frustration of your brain just. not. listening.

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#11

Hallelujah for phone alarms ! the only reason I still have a job and remember to stop doing whatever I am doing (though need like 2-3 alarms to kick myself out the door)

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#12

My hardest thing would be living with the constant feeling that I am failing at life. I can’t keep a job, friendships or romantic relationships. I am messy, hyperemotional, disorganized, a big procrastinator and have no idea where I am heading in life. I am constantly comparing my failings to others’ successes and it really hurts. I just rediscovered Jessica McCabe’s talk and just found out about this forum. I am tired of just “enduring” things and really want to start taking charge of my brain and my life.

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#13

Start slow, start with building a small routine and build from that.

Understand that we all hit roadbumps and that we all feel like we are stuck at square one again.

You’re not stuck at square one if you can take lessons from previous mistakes and apply them to yourself in the future. You can always take a step forward. Believe in yourself!

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#14

Hardest thing for me is getting motivated for so-called “productive” activities. A.k.a., those things that I don’t WANT to do but I HAVE to do. I can’t get started to go to the gym, to decide to look for a new job, to dress up my resume, to care about the work that I’m doing, to find new clients, to give a hoot. I have a lot of things I’m very excited and ambitious about – my writing, drawing, painting, music that I’m listening to and performing, learning about ADHD. Nobody pays me for any of those.

I allow myself to set multiple alarms and multiple appointments in my electronic calendars, even if they are contradictory or redundant. I notice, for example, that right now my calendar says that my favorite soccer team will be playing a big game tomorrow at 2 pm, tomorrow at 1:45 pm, and tomorrow all day. I can watch it on TV, on channel 79 or on channel 77, according to my notes. Today I had an appointment with my psychiatrist for medication prescription re-ups, and that appointment is also listed as having happened last Monday, a mistake which I never bothered to delete because removing things worries me, makes me wonder if I removed the right one. Better to have too many reminders than too few.

I am not a big fan of doing the prep the night before. A lot of people suggest that we should pack the bag, lay out your clothes, get the stuff out to make your lunch and line it up on the counter. I get the concept, it’s probably useful for a lot of people. But it’s just one more reason to lose sleep, to hyperfocus, to not get to bed on time, for me. I don’t allow myself to solve my problems by getting into a rush. If I’m late, late enough starting that I feel like I’m going to arrive late, then I know as well that it’s too late to be on time. So, I will just go at a proper rate and not be on time. And I always entirely unpack my whole bag, then repack it. These are overkill solutions that force me into the serenity mindset. They do work for me, but only because over time I have eliminated a vast majority of my daily responsibilities. I have a nearly empty intended calendar now. The best thing about ADHD is knowing that I’m not supposed to take on extra responsibilities, and therefore giving myself the permission to say “no” to the various favors people want me to do for them. :slight_smile:

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#15

Cleaning my room It’s like I know I should clean my room but then it’s like I’m just us my phone instead.

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#16

Welcome to the forum, fellow Brain! And yeah, same…

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#17

Thanks

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